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nerdy-analysis · 7 days ago

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Slasher Horror, the Innate Horror of Disturbance, and a Defense of the Maligned

Horror, as most fans of the genre will know, is rather vicarious, as a genre. It allows us to indirectly experience and live through horrifying, traumatizing events through the lens of fiction, it allows us to view these events in such a way that we can process emotions that are centered on those situations, the core points of the horror. It allows us to examine how we might react to those situations.

For instance, Midsommar. Though not a movie of the subgenre I plan to discuss, it nonetheless stands as a good example of the vicarious nature of horror. At its core, the film is centered on trauma, and how that affects our relationships, how our relationships affect our reaction to trauma, and the horror of being controlled, and the loss of control. Dani, the main character, doesn’t fully control her own life, because of her abusive partner. She has also been traumatized by the death of her family at the hands of her sister. Eventually, she thinks she’s gained control of her life, through the cult that causes her to sacrifice the aforementioned partner, but she still doesn’t truly have control over her life.

Her abusive relationship affects how she processes her trauma. Her lack of control over her life leads her to the cult. The cult gives her the illusion of control and choice all while controlling her instead, and that illusion of choice is acted upon and informed by her trauma and relationships. All of those events are possibilities in someone’s life, and all of them are situations we can process through the lens of fiction.

I say all of this as a sort of preamble to the core point. Slasher Horror. It’s a subgenre that’s near and dear to my heart, and what got me into the broader genre of horror. And I feel like it gets a bad rap, in comparison to high-concept, more thematic-based, arthouse horror. And that isn’t to say that I’m not a fan of arthouse horror, some of my favorite horror movies are arthouse horror. But that doesn’t change the fact that Slasher movies are… maligned, by a decently sized group. Considered to not be “real” horror.

When most people think of or hear the words, “Slasher Movie”, they probably think of cheap jumpscares, cheesy antagonists, and extreme plot contrivances. Of course, that isn’t to say Slasher movies like those described don’t exist. The Leprechaun franchise is a perfect example of the archetype. But in my experience, those people tend not to understand why Slasher movies are horror movies, and they usually don’t understand the context behind the history of the subgenre either.

Which means it’s time for a history lesson.

The History of a Genre

Humans have always been interested in violence, and seeing other people being subject to it. There’s a reason the Coliseum was so popular in Ancient Rome. Of course, we aren’t going quite that far back. No, we’re only going back to the early 20th century and on. Our trip starts in 1908, with Mary Roberts Rinehart, and a book called The Circular Staircase. In it, we follow a woman named Rachel Innes, and her nephew and niece. She’s rented a summerhouse, which has a ghost, if the ex, and now current, butler Thomas is to be believed,

Events occur, and eventually, the body of one Arnold Armstrong is found, the estranged son of the homeowner. More events happen, and more bodies pile up, all under mysterious circumstances. The book was then adapted into a play, which became a movie, both titled The Bat. A lot was changed, but there are two key details. Murder is still committed, and an antagonist is added. A masked man who goes by The Bat.

Already, we see the seeds of the Slasher being planted. A string of murder victims, mysterious circumstances, and a masked villain. All things that are rather heavily associated with Slashers today. Let's jump forwards now, to 1932, and to a movie named Thirteen Women.

The movie follows, as one might expect, thirteen women. Sorority sisters who write to a clairvoyant for horoscopes. Unknown to them, however, is that the clairvoyant was manipulated by Ursula Georgi, who was snubbed by the sorority sisters for being mixed race, winding up with her leaving the school. Through the horoscopes, and other plans and plots, she manipulates the sisters into killing each other, with only one surviving, Laura Stanhope.

And with Thirteen Women, we see the seed of another of the Slasher’s most recognizable tropes. The Final Girl. The sole survivor of the murderous events of the movie, book, show, or play.

Now, we jump to the year 1946, and the movie The Spiral Staircase, which follows a mute woman, trying to not die at the hands of a serial killer. It opens with the murder of a mute girl who had been watching a silent film, the third murder in a string of killings. The movie then follows, for the most part, Helen, a mute woman who works in a mansion as the live-in companion for Blanche Warren.

Once more, murders occur at the hands of the antagonist, but we see a few new pieces of the puzzle enter the picture. First, Helen is confronted by the murderer, who wants to kill her as well. The second, the unsuccessful murder that leads to the murderer's death. Additionally, an opening kill, and one committed by a serial killer.

Now we can see the baseline of the Slasher stitching itself together. Mysterious murders, caused by a serial killer, a lone survivor, and confrontations with the murderer.

Of course, the Slasher wasn’t developed in isolation, its base wasn’t just thriller-horror and psychological horror. Art can’t be made in isolation. It’s influenced by other pieces, by its very nature. Which brings us to Splatter horror and Giallo movies.

Splatter horror, more commonly known as “Torture Porn”, is a subgenre of horror that centers on gore, the name being derived from blood splatters. The horror aspect, the part of the subgenre that scares, is the idea that there might be people who would do those things in real life. That someone you walk past might have dismembered someone in their house the other day. As you might assume if you’ve watched Splatter and Slasher films, the influence that Splatter horror had on Slasher is the kills. The gory nature, the gratuity, the body count.

It also, though rather more indirectly, led to the development of a less commented on, though rather ubiquitous, trope. The Body Crawl. Wherein our Final Girl, in her run to avoid the murderer is confronted by the bodies of their other victims.

Then, of course, we come to giallo films. A unique form of murder-mystery story, or just mystery in certain cases, that finds its origin in Italy, the giallo film primarily influenced the Slasher insofar as cementing the mystery aspect of the genre, namely in that, in franchise firsts, or stand-alone movies, we have yet to meet the murderer, with it being revealed at the end of the movie, though such isn’t always the case. One such example would be the reveal that Pamela Voorhees was responsible for the murders in Friday the 13th Part One.

Giallo films, however, also weren’t developed without external genres influencing its tropes and formulas, with the stylings and films of Alfred Hitchcock being an influence on the genre, once more bringing the roots of the slasher back to the thriller and the psychological.

And now, we come to two movies that are, by most fans of the genre, considered the Grandfather, and Father of the Modern Slasher.

The Sanctity of Suburbia, and the Horror of its Shattering

Black Christmas (1974) and Halloween (1978). The two movies that most consider the progenitors of the Slasher. Of course, that isn’t to say that movies that are recognizable as Slashers didn’t come before. Why, in the very same year that Black Christmas was released, the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre was released as well. But that isn’t a movie I’ll be discussing here.

Black Christmas: The Plot

Let’s tackle 1974’s Black Christmas first. It is, in many ways, Halloween’s father. Stylistically similar, a similar premise, and even themed around a holiday. Much like the earlier Thirteen Women, Black Christmas follows a group of sorority sisters. Second verse, same as the first feels a rather fitting phrase to use here, I feel. Of course, Black Christmas is a different film to Thirteen Women. It happens o find itself in another unique category, one that tends to be lumped in with the Slasher. Rather unfairly, I might add. The Exploitation Film.

Rather counterintuitive to the name, and the associated trends, the Exploitation film isn’t entirely about exploiting people. It gained its name for exploiting contemporary topics and trends, though it’s rather undeniable that the subgenre tends toward the sexually exploitative.

Black Christmas was labelled one such film for the rather brutal, for the time, kills found within the film. It takes place over the days before, and on, Christmas, where an unknown murderer is making obscene calls to a sorority house, one that is missing a member, by the name of Clare.

Clare is, of course, dead. When a search party is finally organized, the sorority’s Housemother, Mrs. MacHenry finds Clare’s body in the attic, before being murdered herself. More calls happen, leading the police to tap the phone, and trace one of the calls, leading to the iconic line of “The calls are coming from inside the house.” Our Final Girl, Jess, has her Body Crawl before locking herself in the basement, where her boyfriend, Peter enters through the window.

In a panic, she beats him to death. The police, thinking Peter was the killer leave Jess to sleep. The movie ends with the killer’s voice sounding from the attic, where Clare and MacHenry remain, undiscovered. The attic hatch opens, and the phone rings.

Halloween: The Plot

Halloween (1978), much like it’s father and one of the primary inspirations, Black Christmas, has a cold open kill. This time instead of it being a sorority sister, and an unknown killer, we meet the movie’s murderer as a child, as he murders his sister, Judith.

We then flash to fifteen years in the future, where Samuel Loomis, our murderer’s psychiatrist, is driving with Marion Chambers to escort Michael Myers, the aforementioned murderer, to a court hearing.

Michael, however, manages to make his way to Haddonfield, the location of the movie, killing a mechanic and buying a white mask, creating the iconic look of The Shape. Having seen Laurie Strode drop off a key to his old home, he decides to stalk her. Laurie naturally notices, though her concerns are brushed off by her friends, Annie and Lynda.

That night, Laurie and Annie go to their babysitting jobs, all the while followed by Michael. Annie takes her charge to the Doyle house, where Laurie is babysitting, so that she can pick up her boyfriend. Michael then kills her in her car. Laurie’s other friend Lynda, and her boyfriend Bob, go to the Wallace house, where Annie had been babysitting. They find it empty. After having sex with each other, Bob is murdered as he goes to get a beer. Lynda is killed when trying to find out where Annie is, all while Laurie can hear her being strangled.

After the prerequisite Body Crawl Laurie attacks Michael, managing to take off his mask, and attracting Dr. Loomis’ attention. Loomis shoots him six times, but it winds up being revealed that Michael’s body is missing from where he should be.

The Horror and the Context

Boiled down to their core plot elements, Black Christmas and Halloween don’t sound very scary, right? But that would be because it’s missing the context surrounding the movies. You see, during the 1970s, when both movies released, there was a certain phenomenon sweeping the United States. The Serial Killer Scare, as I like to call it.

The ‘70s and ‘80s, the nominal golden decades of the Slasher, found themself as decades where seemingly every other day a new serial killer was being announced to the world. Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, the Golden State Killer, the Zodiac Killer, the Son of Sam, the Manson Family, the Hillside Strangler, Richard Ramirez. Was the person you passed by a serial killer? Was it someone you knew?

Before the Serial Killer Scare, suburbia was seen as somewhat of a safe haven, a den of safety away from the crime-ridden cities, away from those dens of iniquity where you could wind up being mugged, or assaulted, or even killed, heavens forbid. It was a place of safety and comfort, where your white-picketed dreams could come true.

So, when so many serial killers were revealed to be people that you wouldn’t give a second look, people who might seem like model citizens, it shattered that picket-fence veil of security. It revealed that, no matter how safe you had felt, no matter how secure you thought you were, you were still being hunted. Still prey, at the whims of a predator. That your death, idealized as natural and at old age, surrounded by your loved ones, was unpredictable. That your life could be stolen on a normal night, with a normal knife, by the hands of someone who, on the surface, is just. Like. You.

And art, as a sheer aspect of its existence, is necessarily a reflection, a commentary, and a method of processing the realities of our world. Art is made in reaction to circumstances, made as a deconstruction and analysis of circumstances, and is made to process those circumstances. So, when the elements of the Slasher that had been seeded finally came to bloom, it was only natural that that bouquet of tropes, stations and concepts would be arranged around the facets of life that are seen as safe. The facets of life that were held sacrosanct and unchangeable.

The peace of suburbia shattered in a single night by the blade of a knife. The joy and calm of a summer camp irrevocably rent asunder by the grief of a model woman. The soft land of dreams turned into damaging realms of nightmare and death. The innocence of childhood and children’s toys perverted by the whims of a murderer.

And that is where the horror of the Slasher movie comes from. Slashers aren’t scary because of the kills, the gore, or the designs of the murderer. Slashers are scary because, at their core, they’re about being stalked, being hunted, being prey, and having the illusion of normalcy, safety and peace irrevocably ruined. They’re scary, not for the what or why of the murder, but the maybes and what-ifs of real life.

Slasher’s horror is mistakenly believed to be the murderer. And, in a roundabout manner, it is. But it is not what or who the murderer is, but what they represent. A stranger. A brother. A dream. A toy. A grieving mother. A boyfriend. The horror is what we hold dear, and how it may be far more sinister than we thought, and the shattering of the illusion of safety.

#horror #meta essay #my posts #slasher movies #is the first post im making here about slashers?#yes #yes it #i really hate how some people discard an entire category because #its somehow doing horror “wrong” or something #like because they werent scared #that means it isnt horror #this is directed at film bros #and my shithead brother i like to forget im related to

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incorrectbatbquotes · 2 years ago

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hi i’m sylvie your favorite admin in the world and i’ve been hyperfixated on batb (1991) since I was 14 so here’s my definitive (mostly spoiler free) review of every book based in the universe of batb (1991)

1. As Old As Time (alternate universe)

Like a 6.7/10. The characters were well written and I liked the imagery. Felt very reminiscent of the musical adaptation which I liked. A lot of characters to keep track of though and I don’t love the uh. “subtext”. somebody else in the fandom mentioned their issues with it and i don’t remember who it was but yeah that. I liked it but the flaws unfortunately bring it down a few notches. still a decently interesting read. mrs potts was such a fascinating character in this I really loved how braswell wrote her. sadly no name for the beast this time but that gets addressed at one point so??

PROS

It’s a neat concept

The writing is really good

Pretty and spooky imagery

The characters are well written especially Mrs Potts (beatrice my beloved)

had some genuinely dark moments that fit surprisingly well

CONS

weird subtext iykyk

too many characters. so many names

some scenes happen really fast and move on with no explanation or callback to it

2. Belle Takes Flight (sequel)

2.1/10. Its meant for a younger audience but theres really good books for younger audiences and this aint one. I liked that it kinda centered around belle’s friendship with lumi and cogs bc its a fun dynamic but the boys come off as incredibly useless and bumbling the entire time especially when theres high stakes? like are they idiots? yes (lovingly) but oh my god it was rough like you could take them out of the plot and it would still make sense. on that note i subtracted 50% of the rating right off the bat bc this book fatshamed cogs every chance it could. the dialect felt very on par with the movie which was nice but the messy plot, inconsistencies, unlikable new characters, and like the constant reminder that cogs is plus sized really almost made me dnf. also the prince still has no name. read anything else on this list unless youre that content starved like i am actively begging

PROS

the way they talked was very on par with the movie? at least the main trio. they said mrs potts was irish?? h u h?

belle and her dads-in-law(s?) goin on an adventure is such a fun concept and again i like getting to explore their dynamic when not in a “please fall in love with our son-figure boss so we can have hands again” type situation

i liked elise. i thought she was cute.

CONS

bad decisions made by the characters and by the author simultaneously

the new characters were poorly written and had the capability of being really interesting (i was hoping granny was like a mechanical engineer or something before she got introduced. like cogs breaks his leg and elise is like “oh granny t will fix him” and my immediate thought bc of the phrase “fix” was like. steampunky prothetic leg omg so cool and she’s gonna help belle fix the hot air balloon but nah)

belle is the only one out of the three who contributes anything to the story which like yeah ofc but you could switch which servants were there and nothing would change

in case you forgot how cogsworth looks as a human, worry not! because this book will remind you. at every opportunity. like two times in one paragraph on page 4 type opportunity. I physically winced. if all your development for this character boils down to “he’s fat and he’s short and did I mention he’s fat” like. you lost me so fast babe.

3. Rebel Rose (sequel)

8.5/10. If Rebel Rose has 100 fans, i’m one. If Rebel Rose has 10 fans, i’m one. if Rebel Rose has 1 fan, it’s me. If Rebel Rose has 0 fans, it’s bc i died. clearly meant for an older audience but still kept the charm of the film. loved the dynamics between the characters and making the servants feel more realistic while still keeping their personalities and quirks of their animated counterparts. also gave the beast a name thats NOT adam so bonus points. lgbtq rep thats done well too so ANOTHER bonus point. pls emma give me a sequel i’m on my hands and knees

PROS

bro i could go ON

mature but not too mature yk?

I already said everything i need to say this book slaps

CONS

I dont give any books about monarchy and government type stuff a 10/10 because there’s always some issues with that. a book set during the French Revolution will have its faults regarding that but its not the focus of the book

4. The Beast Within (prequel/alternate universe)

4.5/10. this one is. weird? like I genuinely dont know how to explain it? the writing is nice, i like how creepy the witches looked physically, and it’s a better ya batb book than BTF but those the only good thing I can think to say about it? all the characters were flat and the PACING IS SO BIZARRE? like I genuinely thought there was a point where my archive.org borrow time ran out and the pdf stopped working but nope the pacing is just so genuinely bizarre. I don’t love the involvement with Gaston, it felt super forced. apparently this book is part of an expanded universe bc ursula from the little mermaid was mentioned??? i have so many questions that I won’t get answers to. i want to dislike it but i’m just so confused. like i might just make a separate post of how much this one confused me but I cant give it a lower rating than BTF because that one just made me mad. i think the fact that i had the coraline soundtrack on in the background might’ve convinced me it was better than it was bc it was good atmosphere music. read coraline instead of this idk it’s almost 4 am.

PROS

it was better than Belle Takes Flight

I like the Prince’s inner monologues. the writing was charming at times and had moments where it was really pretty

the coraline soundtrack makes it better

the moving statues were a cool element i wished we got more of that

the curse slowly taking effect is an element from the musical i love so it was nice seeing that used in another version

CONS

really weird pacing. like we go from the servants turning to objects to IMMEDIATELY belle getting attacked by wolves

the witch sisters were weird inclusions. like at first i liked the concept and their physical descriptions are freaky and cool but after a while i got confused? this whole book confused me but maybe i’m too old at my cant-rent-a-car-in-america age.

I’m really hoping most of my confusion was bc this was out of order in a series and I didn’t know it bc why was ursula there?

the prince (who still has no name) goes from being a massive jerk to talking about how much of a family he views the servants as and i think this was supposed to show how him slowly turning into a beast was messing with his head but it didn’t come off that way (the closest things you had to a mom and dad go missing and you dont go looking for them??? like you just tell everyone else to? when you were JUST talking about how much you care about them? “where’s my not-dad go find him” AND YOU DONT SEE THAT MAN FOR MONTHS???

i dont like gaston’s inclusion. i feel like his childhood bff being another snobby rich nobility boy wouldve been better.

it starts too late for a prequel. we never get explanations for where his parents are, why he’s the way he is, etc. like the story starts just a few weeks before the night he got cursed.

a lot of things happen and dont get explained or things happen offpage and is only spoken about in reference. (gaston murders a court painter bc beasty boy told him to? beast’s fiance’s mom kills herself? ursula fucking kidnaps his fiance? the entire part where he meets belle?)

IN CONCLUSION

Stan Rebel Rose

Enjoy but be critical of As Old As Time

Acknowledge that The Beast Within exists but don’t hope for consistency

Stare angrily at Belle Takes Flight and find better books for 13 year olds. I’ll make a list and everything if you want and i’m 7+ years out of the intended audience

(also regardless of my opinions, i send all my respect to each of the authors responsible. writing is hard, writing for the mouse™️ is probably harder. there were things I enjoyed in all of these, even if I didn’t love the book overall. i’m an actor and a costume designer, not a writer. dont take the opinions of some internet neurodivergent as gospel yall)

#not quotes #beauty and the beast #batb #no bc i just finished TBW and i’m still reeling bc wtf was that

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cepheusgalaxy · 8 months ago

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Ah, today was a pretty decent day!

We had nice snacks (cake and my favorite juice) earlier and the classes were also pretty decent, even that one that I needed the movie for -- what we're working on this cycle is this book but it has a pretty loyal movie adaptation and I was planning on watching that, but I couldn't make the time to watch it (again). The thing is that I had watched it before lots of years ago but the conversation we had on class (worth 30% of the literature grade) was pretty simple, the teacher made us questions and we answered them together, and my memory didn't fail me, for that movie really stuck on me, so everything went well! Now all is left is to finish that book--i had forgot how fast i can read when I'm invested--and it's a pretty fun book. I mean, I have to finish it before 15h but I'm already quite past the half of it so I'm sure I can at least near the end--and I also watched the movie adaptation of Enola Holmes some years ago when it came out. Then, before or after finishing the book, I'll see if I can get a try at the pool (its not gonna stay for long and as I was on my period i couldn't use it until now), and then after I'll do some more advance on my reference sheet (start polishing the turnaround and getting more expressions done on the other side of the sheet, as well as some notes on his design and color scheme~) or watch or play a little. At 17h30 ill get ready for gym and will be back at 19h-ish to get ready to go to mom's--then I'll ask for help to do the bloody video (i got a date! now i know how long i got to do it), start planning it, AND then I will get more of the turnaroud done this week, take good pictures of it all and post it and sign the docs to participe on the art trade event.

Now before lunch I'll also finish the transcription of my research for tomorrow

#rambles #to-do list #school tag #how good is to have things working out #maybe i wont need to leave the club after all #oh yea i have to post that update hold on

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sharas · 2 years ago

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@boag my thoughts on this are too long to go into the replies but this isn’t at all me trying to start an argument, just my thoughts on the direction that cinema and television have gone in the past few years

my opinions on riverdale aside, my question is: WHY remake the archie comics instead of just writing an original show? especially when riverdale has so little in common with the source material aside from the characters. i’d understand if it was an adaptation of the comics… but it’s not. it’s a remake.

what’s the point? why does it have to be the archie comics in particular? and i don’t mean it in a “they ruined my favorite comics” way— i read maybe two archie comics growing up. i mean it as a genuine question: if the remake is so different from the original in its core values and message, why does it have to derive from that particular source media?

i’m more concerned with this overall trend in mass media as of late. the remakes, the franchises, the cashgrabs. you go to the movies, and what are your options? adaptations, spin-offs, the 45th installment in the marvel cinematic universe. how many sherlock adaptations did we get until rian johnson got the idea to just make a new detective? why don’t we get new superheroes anymore? why are they rebooting pretty little liars again? why is 2D animation being pushed out in favor of bland 3D animated remakes?

i’m concerned with the blatant commercialization of entertainment media. how big budget studios don’t take creative risks, how they’ll just draw from their existing vault of ip’s and make another reboot. how original media gets pushed to the wayside until they can justify canceling it. how writers, animators, directors are shafted again and again for doing anything outside of the stale established formula that is guaranteed to make millions because we, the audience, have no options anymore.

when you’re a parent and you want to take your kid to the movies— because that’s what kids want to do, see a movie in theaters— your options are iron man 17 or a soulless live action adaptation of a disney movie that came out 40 years ago. when you’re having a night in and want to watch something on netflix, your options are an original show that got canceled after one season or a low-budget adaptation of a trashy erotica. if you’re a horror fan, you have a remake of a classic movie that did not need a remake or another installment in an increasingly convoluted franchise.

of course, this isn’t to say all movies and shows are like this now. like i mentioned before, rian johnson created a new gentleman detective that is a welcome break from sherlock holmes. glass onion is a standalone movie that does not require context from knives out to be enjoyed. i also saw the new puss in boots movie a few weeks ago and absolutely loved it, and it’s obviously part of a larger franchise that has spanned two decades. but at the same time, i was able to enjoy it despite not having seen the last few shrek movies or even remembering most of the first puss in boots spin-off.

but these movies are few and far in-between. and honestly, we know why this is happening. it’s the same reason hbo shelved most of its original animated shows and the batgirl movie. the same reason disney remakes movies just as their copyright on the original is about to expire. the same reason netflix will make yet another 365 days adaptation while canceling literally any other decent show. at this point, they’re not concerned with making media that is high-quality and will last for generations. they don’t care any more about creating a cultural legacy because they already have one they can cash in on. the goal is to line the pockets of an already wealthy entertainment executive who does not care about the creatives who get fucked over in his quest for more money.

movies and television aren’t the only industries suffering from this. books nowadays are described with tropes instead of actual descriptions (“enemies to lovers! sharing a bed! found family! harry potter meets star trek!” but what about the plot?) we’re also seeing a new strain of books that are written just to get an eventual movie adaptation. video games are becoming more uniform because game developers would rather copy one successful game ad nauseam instead of making something new (why are so many games open world since breath of the wild came out?) this is a culture-wide problem, not an industry problem.

in this kind of cultural climate, independent creators are a beacon of variety and originality. but at the end of the day, they’re limited too; limited by budget constraints, limited by time constraints, limited by the relentless competition of multi-million dollar companies endlessly churning out high-budget, low-risk media.

that’s my gripe with velma. it’s just another in a long line of blatant cashgrabs that insults the audience and the legacy of the franchise. it’s not the first show to use shock value and bad writing to farm negative reactions for its SEO, and it unfortunately will not be the last. but it’s still hours of effort— from animators, voice actors, sound engineers, and writers— wasted on this shitty show, efforts that could have created something amazing if the bottom line wasn’t just to make money.

what’s funny about velma (2023) is that they’ve already tried a dark and edgy scooby doo remake. the first live action movie from 2002 was originally directed towards adults, and was rife with dirty jokes, drug references, and cleavage shots of daphne and velma.

you know why the final product didn’t resemble that at all? bc they realized early on that the edgy grimdark angle fucking sucked. they reworked the movie to be more family-friendly— still with a complex plotline, but without the gratuitous sexual references and adult jokes. they did end up keeping a few references to shaggy smoking marijuana (his love interest being named mary jane, for one) but they were super toned down so that they’d go right over the heads of any kids watching.

it wasn’t necessarily a kids movie. i was five years old when it came out, and i loved it, but it was fun for teens and adults to watch too. and even with the dated cgi for scooby, it still has a lot of rewatch value. ask yourself if you think anyone is going to be rewatching velma in 2043 the way people still watch scooby doo twenty years after it was released.

this weird trend of the past few years of remaking fun and campy media into something edgy and full of shock value (wednesday, riverdale, and that awful winx club series come to mind) is so boring and trite and misguided. if you want to make dark media so bad, write something original instead of borrowing the barest skeletons of existing media and distorting them until they’re unrecognizable. it’s such an insult to the creators to have their stories mutilated by people who have no understanding of or appreciation for the characters or audience.

#me @ me: the behavior you exhibited was nerdlike. the media degree jumped out #long post #my writing

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akwardlyuncool · 2 years ago

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Class Favorites: Movie Rank!

This is a ranking of all the movies I watched for the first time in 2022. I didn’t review every new movie, but I will link to any reviews that I can. That being said, be sure and click the links to also see the trigger/content warnings. (If they are what you need.)

Also it’s not in reverse order because I can never be bothered.

1) Spider Man No Way Home (2022)

It was just good and gave what it needed to give. The “surprise” was very well done and definitely worth the watch. If you haven’t seen but would I recommend. Sorry no review, but I enjoyed myself and I’m pretty sure there were tears at some point in the watching of this film.

2) Lone Star State Of Mind (2002)

We can argue that there were better made movies on this list, but I promise you none of them made me laugh as hard and gave the comedic gold that this one did. Laughter is a strong sway and in a world that’s falling apart, I’ll take the joy of genuine laughter. Joshua Jackson and DJ Qualls don’t hurt either. It’s what you want out of a 2002 comedy.

3) Unpregnant (2020)

I think the movie did what it set out to do very well and that’s why it’s up here so high. Would it be one to get a quicker rewatch? No, but it was still a pretty decent movie over all and in the lineup it stood out as a good movie, if you’re into the the YA book to movie adaptations.

4) The Ultimate Playlist Of Noise (2021)

I think I’m just so in love with music and playlists and having a soundtrack to everything, that there was no way this movie wasn’t going to get a high ranking on this list. It was a little heavy, but still gave off more light than anything. Yes there were the typical he has to save her or they have to save each other, but at the end of the day a decent little movie. Now I’ll be honest and say that my brain didn’t automatically remember this one, but after seeing it in the line up it does spark some good memories.

5) Moonshot (2022)

This movie was good for what it was and because it wasn’t trying to be something it clearly wasn’t, I enjoyed it. it fell right among it’s peers and even out preformed some of them. It was cute, lighthearted and took a couple digs at billionaires and they’re gross infatuation with space, so it metaled in my book.

6) The Making of Lords Of Dogtown

This was like a 30-45 minutes documentary on how they made the Hollywood movie version of Lords of Dogtown. I really enjoyed the original documentary on those kids story and thought the movie was also done really well and this addition to that collection of things was well received, at least by the small subset of folks who claimed to have watched it on Letterboxed. If you watched the movie and just want more, but have already seen the original documentary, then this is a solid recommend. And even if you haven’t seen the movie, but just love skate culture, then I recommend it to you as well. I will say that it is a bonus feature on the DVD copy, however since I only got the VHS tape, I went and found a copy of it on YouTube.

Note: I didn’t rank this one higher because of it being a DVD bonus feature, but if it was a full length documentary it probably would have garnered one of the top 3 spots.

7) Cherry (2021)

We all know that sometimes the drama wins and I think that’s why I went and ranked this the way that I did. There were parts that were really intense and then there were parts that weren’t as great, but overall I thought it was worth checking out and something that I wouldn’t steer people away from, that is unless subjects of war, addiction and PTSD struggles are a trigger for you, then I’d go check something else out.

8) Elvis and Annabelle (2007)

This was a very late watch in the year for me, but it still found a way to make the top 10 cut. I liked this one more than I thought I would and I think most people who are also into dark, but still kinda light romances, would too. It pulls at heart strings and keeps you engaged, definitely one I can see having a small following behind it.

9) Step Up Revolution (2012)

I took a moment in 2012 to rewatch the Step Up series and also catch the ones that I hadn’t seen before. I had previously seen 1 and 2 and maybe the beginning of part 3, so this one was new for me. If my memory is holding up, Revolution was the most fun I had with the series and that’s not counting the first movie. It was also the film in the series that held a lot of it’s own weight without Moose’s character. Moose does show up at the end and does his little thing, but the rest of the movie fares pretty decently without him.

10) Too Young To Be A Dad (2002)

Since I didn’t post a review the quick synopsis is that 15 year old Matt Freeman (Paul Dano) get’s his girlfriend pregnant and the families all have to figure out what to do, when Matt wants to step up.

First it’s Paul Dano, so do with that information what you will. Second this is a “Lifetime,” made-for-TV movie, so treat it like such. Now I’d say it was decent for what it is. It’s not ranking at the top in it’s category, but it does pretty well in mid range. I find enjoyment in this type of movie, however I know not everyone else does, so watch or not watch accordingly.

11) Gully (2019)

Gully is ranked this low simply because it is so traumatizing. To quote my review cause I felt like I said it best then, “if you are emotionally tired of seeing Black youth being brutalized, even in a fictional setting and even if they are sometimes being brutal themselves, (product of their environment) give this one a pass. You do not have to sit through all that trauma because someone on Twitter was talking about how it’s a “must see.” Now if you feel you can handle it, than I suggest watching it with self-care practices in place.”

Basically the cast preformed very well, but it was far too violent and once again traumatizing for me to rank it any higher. Part of me thinks I could have gone even lower with it but since the cast did so well, while there were other just not great performances, it gets a mid rage score.

12) Expecting Amish (2014)

Another “Lifetime” made-for-TV movie, cause I dabbled in a few this year. This one was fairly decent, but it ranked lower because of the ending. When a movie is Oh-Kay, but it doesn’t give you what you want, you tend to drop it down several points. That all being said it has Jesse McCartney, so do with that information what you will lol.

13) Step Up All In (2014)

It’s the Battle of 2014 apparently. It’s also an “All Starts Season,” which everyone knows is typically filler. It wasn’t the worst in the Step Up lineup, but you could see what they were doing and even when you had a moment of fun, you were still kinda tired. It’s fun with the binge though.

14) Step Up 3D (2010)

I remember starting this movie forever ago, but not getting very far into it, fast forward to this binge of the series and I finally understood why. Basically this is the boring feature. It’s the movie they made while thinking they still had clout from the previous two and they were wrong. Again Moose does his thing, as well as Alyson Stoner, but it just wasn’t enough.

15) First Love (2022)

This was a movie that wanted to be something is didn’t deliver. It wanted to be a star crossed lovers film, but never succeeded in making us actually believe that. Yes it was the better of the Hero Fiennes Tiffin movies I saw this this year and it wasn’t the worst thing I saw, but I’m not sure I want to put something I thought was a little empty too high on this list.

16) Left For Dead: The Ashley Reeves Story (2021)

The quick rundown since no review, is that 17 year old Ashley Reeves was assaulted and left for dead, but later found buried alive and it follows how she coped afterwards.

This is an actual Lifetime Movie, based on a true story and sometimes they get them pretty decent and sometimes they fail and this one was not good. Yes the story itself is captivating, but the way it was told here wasn’t. It felt fake and rushed and overdramatic without the actual good dramatic parts to hold it up. It lacked so much for the type of story it was trying to tell and it just wasn’t worth the watch, unless you want to see all of them, good or bad. Good for it here though, cause there were worse movies that I saw in 2022.

17) Love, Game, Match (2022)

Students try to pair up their teachers, but there’s secrets that threaten to get in the way.

Another made-for-tv movie that didn’t give me any of the feels they are at the very least required to give. I’ll pretty much sit through any former Degrassi star’s post community school work, especially if there’s romance involved, but that doesn’t mean I have to call it good. It took me a couple sittings to get through this 1hr 25min movie because it couldn’t keep my attention when it needed to. I’m not a big fan of the word boring, but sometimes that’s the only way you can describe a film that lackluster. The goal is to crank out a lot and sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re not, but a lot of time they’re just there on the Urgent Care waiting room TV making so the room isn’t totally empty. It was simply fine.

18) The Change-Up (2011)

2 best friends switch bodies after thinking the other has the better life.

I’ve been wanting to see this movie for a long time, cause i happen to enjoy these types of films, but after watching it I feel like it could have stayed as something I just happened to missed. I guess I was over sitting through that much trash with little reward and maybe that’s why I shouldn’t be picking these movies up. There is no redemption arc that needs to happen here, at least not with this one. Sometimes this particular trope or theme or whatever is done well and other times the fact that you’ve seen it play out several times pulls it down even further.

19) After Ever Happy (2022)

One had to come before the other and this one was slightly better and do mean slight than it’s sibling that came out last year. It’s a toxic relationship, no shipping, we’re just in too deep.

20) Zach and Miri Make A Porno (2008)

2 Best Friends/Roommates who can’t pay their bills decide to make an adult film with their friends as well as some paid actors. What once was platonic may be catching some feels.

I love this era of movie, but not even Seth Rogen being Seth Rogen could save this movie, especially with him dropping the n-word. (Like that is one of the most unattractive things I’ve seen him do.) It had points for some professions of love, but lost them. Sorry not sorry, but a sad one in an era that I generally like. I feel like if I had watched it back in high school that I probably would have found some joy in this film, but once again I probably watched it too late and the connection is lost.

21) After We Fell (2021)

This movie was rushed and I barely knew what what going on in relation to where we were in the story line. This story is a mess just like the main character’s toxic relationship. There’s just not much redeeming for this particular film or the After series in general, so I think it was always end up at the bottom of the barrel.

0 notes

joe9cool · 2 years ago

Text

Collide - Justin Herbert - 9

Sara was on cloud fucking nine.

Justin had just left for practice, they had a small breakfast together before he left, telling her he’d see her Sunday night. They were leaving straight for Texas after practice, which sucked Sara was going to miss him but she was otherwise happy

“I could fall in looovve with you.” Sara sang as she twirled around his living room, her phone playing Selena on full blast from the bluetooth speaker. She poured herself a big mimosa while she was cleaning. It was a celebratory occasion afterall, she was happy, she officially had a man, who despite his injury blew her back out last night.

Selfish as this may, she wanted him to recover fast, not only for the team, but fuck. Justin was a whole foot taller than her, she wanted him to take advantage. Use that size to fuck her up. I mean she couldn’t complain, he ate her out like a starved man last night. She was in such a good mood, she didn’t even check twitter and it didn’t even bother her that Taylor would be working alongside her man.

As she was dancing, she picked up Nova and swung her around, the cat looking confused. Her phone began ringing, and Sara saw that it was her Agent. She picked up. “Hello?”

“Sara I have some huge news,” Derek stated. He was known for getting straight to the point. “So guess who reached out to me?” Before she could answer, he cut in “Richelle Mead!”

She gasped. “The author? Of the Vampire Academy books?” Memories of her being obsessed with the six book series in high school, camping out all night for the newest release, texting all her friends about Dimitri and Rose.

“The one and only, and guess what? They are making a movie adaption of the books. Richelle is already scouting for the roles and she said she is very interested in having you play Rose!”

“Shut the fuck up!” She jumped up and down, forgetting that she was holding an animal in her other arm. After setting the cat down with a quick apology, she began her celebration. “Did she give a timeline to anything?”

Derek sighed, “Nothing yet, we probably wouldn’t be looking at any finalization until the end of 2023. But the studio would be Lionsgate and they are looking to spend the money right now. You are the most sought out actresses, and a sure blockbuster.” She smiled, well it for sure would be an amazing opportunity. “Keep me informed.”

“That’s what I am here for, baby. Also, Ben from Lord Huron reached out and asked if you would be able to sing on another track. They are rereleasing their album with a couple bonus tracks.”

“Oh that’s great! I still have Ben’s number! I will call him as soon as we are done.” They went over filming, and asked if she got the script for the new season of the show. Once they finalized that they hung up.

Once dressed and complete with hair and makeup (emphasis on makeup covering the hickeys on neck, she headed out to meet Ben and the others. Sara was a huge Lord Huron fan, discovering them in 2012 as a sixteen year old, and introduced the show’s audience to their music, and they blew up. When The Lead singer reached out late 2020 and asked if she wanted to be a part of ‘I lied’ she freaked out, the song and the music video was a success, and as a thank you he painted the single album cover that hangs in her home. Justin asked about it the first time he came over, and she put a bunch of their songs on Spotify for him to listen to.

The studio the band was working at was a decent drive and with the LA traffic it was about a couple hours later that she walked into the old warehouse that he converted into a recording studio. After the greetings they got to work. Ben asked her what songs she wanted to sing on and she chose ‘Meet me in the City’ and ‘Drops in the Lake’. Meet me in the city was a very sexy song about lovers who were in a forbidden relationship and wanted to run away together. It made her think of her and Justin’s story. Drops in the Lake was a sad song about Love lost and wishing you could go back in time.

Ben was remixing in the booth and Sara decided to post a photo of the sound studio on her stories. Immediately people began replying, however one caught her eye,

HarryStyles: Glad to see you're in the studio again. Takes me back.

She stared at it. Why the fuck would he send this? What does this all mean? She had spent so many nights wanting this moment. All the thirst traps she posted on insta, all the moments she pretended she was living her best life with her friends while she was really drunk and down a self destructive path. Now she picked herself up, has someone else in her life and he's doing all of this? For what? He is still with Olivia and they seem happy. So why?

"Alright Sara" Ben's voice broke her from her trance. "So I'm gonna go in and record the first verse, and then you do the second. We will combine together for the chorus and you will sing the last line of the song." She smiled. "Oh that's my favorite line!"

She watched as Ben stepped in the booth and the music began playing. She was on the couch, swaying back and forth and singing along. Since this was a re-record, she was up before she knew it. Once she got the cue she started to sing her part

Go home and say goodbye forever

Tell your ball and chain you won't be back around.

Forget the life you had and don't look back.

Get your courage up and drink this down.

If our love is so wrong, tell me why does it feel so right?

She closed her eyes and pictured the events of the night before. Justin untying the strings of the bikini before reaching his large hands up to cup her breasts. Her breath getting heavy as she felt his lips on her neck. Her reaching behind her and grabbing his length and stroking as she heard his moans.

Her voice breathy as she sang the chorus

Meet me in the city baby

Meet me in the city baby.

Am I not the one you're dreaming of my angel?

Am I not the one you wanna love forever?

Sara stopped and opened her eyes and smiled at Ben. Who smiled back and pressed the mic

that connected them to the booth. "You fucking killed it Sara! I love the voice at the end. You put so much emotion to it."

"Why thank you Ben." He was a great guy. They had so many things in common. His wife was the greatest as well. She had them over for dinner many times. As she came back into the room she saw he was messing the buttons(she didn't know what anything did. Despite Ben and Harry teaching her.)

"So how's everything? Anything exciting?"

Ben cursed as he hit the wrong button.

Sara laughed and sat on the couch behind him. "Things are going good." She hesitated. "I'm seeing someone." Ben turned around to face her "Really? Anyone I know?"

"Justin Herbert." He looked at her. "He's the quarterback for the Los Angeles Chargers."

"Ah. Sports?" She rolled her eyes. "The football team." He laughed. "Now you know damn well if it isn't baseball I don't give a shit."

She laughed. "You're right, I should have known."

,"is it a new thing?" She nodded. "Three months. But Ben he is amazing, it's like it's been years. It's crazy, because we are total opposites but the same as. I'm an extrovert, he's an introvert. He hates the media and attention, it's pretty much my job. I'm short, he's tall. But I'm crazy about him in every way."

"Does he feel the same?" She stopped." He does, but he has a hard time showing it. He's not the most romantic guy, but he's trying."

Ben nodded. "What?"

He sighed. "I'm not saying every guy I'd the same. But when I met my wife I didn't have to try. Now granted you said he's an introvert, but I hope it's because of that. Sara, you're like a sister to me and I don't want to see you get hurt again."

It was almost the exact same thing Bella said to her. Which pisse her off. "It's different, I met his family. Trust me if you meet him you will see what I am seeing."

"What do you mean if?"

"Well he is not really into the whole family and celebrity thing. So I don't know if he would be comfortable meeting my friends."

“This is someone you want to be in a relationship with?" That shut her up, and Ben knew he pushed a bit too far. "Listen."

"Let's just finish the recordings" She got up. "I have to use the bathroom" and she walked out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Atta boy Herbo!!" Justin turned around, following the voice towards his Offensive Lineman who was cheering, soon the whole locker room was yelling.

"What's going on?" Justin was confused, did he have a good practice, was it some milestone he hit?

"My boy made some lady very happy!" Mike hollered! Justin was still confused. "You don't see your back? Or more importantly feel it?"

"My man Herbo don't feel nothing! He got that dog in him!" The whole locker room laughed. Justin went to the mirror and turned around.

Holy shit

There were scratches everywhere. From Sara's nails that were done when she was doing promo. He didn't even realize she was scratching that hard. Well, he did keep telling her to go harder. Whoops

"Ayo! Who's the lucky girl? You still hitting Bisciotti?"

He would never be able to escape that name. "No, actually my girlfriend did this."

Mike stopped. "Herb, you mean?" Justin nodded his head and smiled. Mike almost tackled him. "AYO Man!!! I'm happy for you! Look at you getting your head out of your ass!!! Sara is a great girl!!!"

"Wait Sara? That's her name?" Ekeler was invested as well now. He noticed his teammate was silent. "Come on man! This is huge our little man is growing up" he stood up to ruffle Justin's hair.

"Wait, you met Sara?"

Mike laughed. "Well we met her in July when we went to Joe's wedding. Really cool, too cool for Herb. I don't know what she sees in him."

Justin blushed. Not liking all of this attention on him and the relationship. "Come on guys, shut up." It came out weak and the group laughed even louder.

"You gotta let us meet her man! This is huge!" Sebastian swung his arm around Justin

"I don't know yet guys. It's too soon."

Just shoved off Sebastian's arm and headed towards the showers. Making sure to keep a good time for the team to get on the plane."

Ekeler looked towards the group. "Did you see how red he got? My man's in love "

After the shower the guys got their stuff ready. Justin sent a quick text to Sara.

J: Getting ready to board plane. Miss you already."

S: miss you . Get the W for me.

J: look at you speaking like a true football fan.

S: learned from the best. Also I'll be watching in your jersey…. And nothing else. Want a picture for good luck?

Justin groaned. This girl was going to kill him

J: only if we win. And I don't throw an interception.

S: I'll blow you if you don't throw one. What am I saying. I'll blow you either way.

"Hey Herb what's with the pink face? Talking to ya girl." Bash came out of nowhere and looked over Justin's shoulder. "AYE AYE My man's getting laid Sunday night!"

"Fuck off" Justin's phoned dinged and he looked at it. It was a selfie of her blowing a kiss to him. Bash gasped.

"Get the fuck out." Justin tried to silence him but it was too late. "Dawg your girl is Sara Wozniak!" Grabbing the attention of the other players, who turned towards Justin. "Ayeee Herbos girl is Sara Wozniak"

Murmurs of "atta boy Herb" and "holy shit" came about. Bosa came over. "Sara Wozniak! Her show is my favorite! I binged the first two seasons in Quarantine."

Justin's face was really pink now. "We met at Joe's wedding, and hit it off."

Bosa shook his head. "That fucker, I didn't get an invite. I got to give him shit for that later."

Before the conversation could continue Staley called them over to discuss some things before takeoff. Justin was in deep thought. Was he ready for Sara to meet all of these guys? Was it going too fast?

Then it occurred to him. He had a football game to win. This should be the furthest on his mind. He turned on his laptop and began to watch game highlights from the Texans games.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was it a bit early to start drinking? It probably was but Sara didn't care. After the studio Ben invited her to a local western bar with him and his wife for some drinks. It was 1pm, so not too bad. While Ben and Sasha sipped on their beets she enjoyed a spiked blueberry lemonade.

"Hey listen, I'm sorry for making all these assumptions about this Justin guy. I should trust your judgment about it. He seems great." Ben smiled and Sara could tell that while he was sorry, there was some truth about his previous statements. "I know you guys are looking out for me and I appreciate it. But trust me it's been good so far. We got off to a rough start, but it seems that he is a better person. He's just stressed about the injury and the pressure of the team doing well."

Ben nodded. "Remember if he doesn't treat you right I'm a phone call away to beat his ass. I could too."

Sasha laughed. "Babe, he's 6'6 and you're barely 6'2 I don't know about that." Sara joined in " actually I don't know if he's a fighter so you might have an advantage there Ben."

Halfway through their lunch Sara's phone began to ring, she excused herself when she saw Timothe's name.

"Hello Timmy!"

"Sara, my favorite girl, how are you?" She heard the smile on his face. He was always happy.

"I'm great, for what do I owe this phone call for?"

"I need you to do a huge favor and attend Virgil's birthday party as my date."

Every year since Virgil Abloh's death. A party was held on his birthday. He loved parties and he made his friends promise they would continue to celebrate his life. It was a big event that was held at a mansion. The best food, alcohol, and music. All of the celebs would be there."

Sara laughed. "You know damn well I wouldn't let you go to that party alone. Timmy. I will see you Saturday night."

After plans had been made she returned to her lunch.

Her phone buzzed again. It was Justin.

J: She lit a fire and now she's in my every thought.

Sara smiled. So he saw her story. He started following her a few days ago and began replying to all of her stories. Some funny replies and liked a couple photos. He joked that she should take down all of her thirst traps. There was a little back and forth but eventually they came down. She didn't care, everything was going great.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Virgil Forever!!"

Her and Timothee screamed in the elaborate photo booth as it snapped photos. It was Saturday night, and the party for the late Virgil was in full swing as her and Timothee arrived late (her makeup artist couldn't get a lash to stick, and her black curve hugging dress designed for her by Virgil was impossible to find in her closet.) She and Tim arrived to a sea of paparazzi outside the mansion. No doubt the rumor mill was going to be running wild.

Sara had been dogging the questioning that Timmy had given her at her house when he walked into her closet and saw men's clothing. (Sara had stolen a little bit of Justin's shirts and sweatshirts) She had simply told him that she purchased them and they were clothes to relax around the house. He didn't believe that one bit but he left it alone until they were in the car.

"So you are seeing someone?" Sara shrugged. "I've been on a few dates with some dudes. All douchebags."

"So you steal their clothes?"

"Well some I bought others I took after a hookup."

The subject was dropped when they arrived. Drinks were poured, appetizers were served and photos were taken. She took photos with Naomi Campbell, among others. She had hit the dance floor after a few. Her heels were killing her, and so Timothee had to hold them while she switched into a pair of flats.

She was wobbling around looking for the restrooms. She went outside to catch some air. Coming across a few strangers she asked if they had a cigarette on them. Sara liked to indulge in one when she was drinking or stressed. She hadn't told Justin about her secret. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Unfortunately her cover was blown when he FaceTimed her. She wasn't thinking, and she picked up with the white stick in her mouth. "Heey baby." She slurred.

His eyes narrowed. "What is in your mouth?" His tone was angry. Well fuck

She took it out of her mouth and blew out the smoke. "A cig, they hit the spot when drinking."

"Take that shit out your mouth." She giggled. "Make me. You're not here so I have to have something in my mouth."

Justin growled. "God you are so fucking dirty. I need to teach you a lesson when I get home. How many puffs did you take?"

She thought for a minute. "Probably like nine so far." She took another one. "That makes ten." Justin smirked. "What?"

"Just counting the ass spankings." She moaned. "Fuck you Justin Patrick!"

"Huh?"

"You always do this shit to me when youre not here! Leaving me a fucking mess that you can't satisfy."

Justin laughed. "But don't I always make up for it?"

"I guess."

"Good girl. Now please do not ever let me catch you smoking again. It's an awful habit. And also please go home. I don't like you being drunk when I'm not around."

She wanted to push further. "You don't trust me?"

"I don't trust anyone around you."

"Well you're lucky I'm over this party and I need to prepare for the awful hangover tomorrow." He laughed.

He stayed on the phone with her the entire time she said goodbye to friends, and in the car ride to her place. (Which sucked when she realized most of her shit was at his house.) They hung up and she only had the energy to wash her face and strip naked from the curve hugging dress.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------*----

Sara was never drinking again.

It was a fucking miracle how she managed to pull herself together after last night. Well she had woken up to Heidi bitching her out after a clip of her singing the Jeffrey Dahmer line from the controversial song went viral. Big deal everyone else was. Heidi wrote up a apology to put outon her Twitter, even though the consensus among the people was that is was stupid to get mad at that. Everyone at that party was singing it as well.After throwing up a few times she put on her comfy shorts and an oversized t-shirt, skipping the makeup and the contacts she went over to Joe and Alisha's house to watch the game.It was off to a good start, Justin and the team looked good, well let's face it she was only focused on Justin the entire time.

At one point Joe got up to take a phone call and they showed a close up of number 97 on the field. Alisha sighed dreamily. "Bosa is so damn fine." Sara turned her head slowly to avoid dizziness. "Bosa?”

Alisha took a sip of her water. "Joey Bosa. Sweet man, he's huge. He weighs almost 300 lbs."

"Jesus." Sara muttered. "Imagine all that weight on you." Alisha choked and began to cough laughing. "Is it bad that I imagined it as well?"

Both girls were giggling as Joe side eyed them as he came back into the room "What's funny?"

"Sara was ogling Bosa. " his wife stated. "You bitch. I wasnt" Joe groaned

"Not you too. You already have Herb." Sara smiled. "Nothing wrong with looking."

"Speaking of Herb, I spoke with Ann-Sophie. He is treating you right? Cause I'll kick his ass." It was Sara's turn to groan. Fucking big mouth. Also what is with the guys wanting to fight Justin? Especially when they weren't even close to his size.

"First off, you are 5'10 and are not cracking 200 lbs. Second, everything is okay now. It was rough but we are official."

Joe sighed. "Listen, Herb is a good guy, he's just not used to living our lifestyle and I think he gets overwhelmed and doesn't know how to handle his feelings. He is football, football, football. He's had flings before but that's it." At the mention of flings Sara was curious. "What flings?"

"He hasn't told you anything?" Sara shook her head no. "Aww fuck, I shouldn't be saying anything. It's not my business."

"He won't open up to me about that, and to be fair I haven't said anything either. I swear I won't say anything." Joe paused. "You swear you won't mention anything?"

Sara shook her head yes

"Last I heard, he was sorta seeing a reporter for the NFL network. Can't recall her name, however it's not too much of a secret but they were trying to keep it on the down low. Could ruin her reputation. However they broke it off last season. She was traveling all over the place. Herb isn't into that. He's a hermit."

She snorted. "You're telling me, we've only been to Jerry's once. Not that I mind, but he's definitely a recluse." Joe laughed. Sara paused, unsure of how to ask the next question. "Do you think he would be seeing both of us at the same time?"

Joe didn't hesitate. "Nah, Justin wouldn't o

Do that to you. He's a good dude from a good family. What makes you think that?"

She didn't want to blow her cover of already knowing about Taylor. "I don't know. I guess since you've known him the longest you would know what he is like."

"Again He's a good dude. Just be patient with him, he's not used to a relationship."

The conversation was interrupted by the Texans scoring and making it a close game. "WHAT THE FUCK! IM SORRY LOMBARDI NEEDS TO GO!"

Alisha rolled her eyes. "Sara, do you want to come help me get some food out?" She nodded and followed her to the kitchen."

As she got out the microwavable snacks she stated to Sara. "You knew about the reporter didn't you?"

Sara tried to look surprised. "Wait what? What makes you think that?"

Alisha smiled. " a woman always knows. We are always one step ahead. You'd think these men would understand that by now."

"When he got injured, I spent a few nights at his house. While he was out, she sent him a bear with an edible arrangement. It was signed 'your TayBae.' That's not someone who thinks the relationship cooled down. Then there were posts on Tumblr saying he picked her up from the airport over the summer. Which would have been right before he met me." She sighed. " I don't want to say anything, cause that would make me hypocrite with Harry but it's eating me up."

"Sara you can't do that. It wouldn't make you a hypocrite. Your relationship with Harry was long over before Justin came into the picture." She pondered over that.

"The only solace is that everytime he has been in LA I've been with him, the exception being when I was in New York."

"Well I'm not trying to sound like Joe, but if he asked you to be his girlfriend, he would have ended it. He isn't like that."

Sara believed it. "Okay"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We doing a victory Brisket at Herb's house? Justin looked up from his tablet to see the whole team smiling at him. "I don't know man. My ribs hurt and we should rest."

"You are so full of shit. I heard you ask the doc for an injection after the game." Bash began laughing. "Oh I get it Herb you in for a long night ehh. Atta boy!" The plane began laughing while Justin flushed red. He had a nice night planned with Sara, one that didn't involve the team."

"That's none of your business." Was all he could say and it sent the boys laughing harder. Mike jumped in. "Ayyee gathering at Herbs tomorrow who's in?"

The usual group chimed in that they would be there. He heard a new voice. "I'm in." He looked over and saw Bosa staring at the group. "I've been wanting to try this famous Brisket you all rave about. "Justin thought nothing of it. Although it was weird that he was joining them.

It was whatever, he just wanted to go home to Sara. He had some plans.

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Justin woke up. He felt refreshed.

Except he wasn't on the team plane, he wasn't even on the damn bus.

He was in bed. His bed. He looked around, seeing the usual. Nothing seemed different, until he looked at the photos on the wall. Which was weird, cause he didn't have photos in his bed.

There was one of his family, and one of him and Sara. He felt something on his finger and he looked. It was a shiny silver band. He held up his hand and inspected it.

"Hi baby!" He looked up to see Sara enter the room. Her stomach looked a little swollen. "Your kid is really active today."

Before he could respond he woke up. He was gasping for breath. He was back on the plane. No one was paying attention. He rested his head and took a deep breath.

That was weird. That meant nothing

Right?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How are your ribs?"

Justin let out a heavy gasp as Sara moaned. "You're seriously ughhhhh oh god baby asking me about my ribs?" He let out another moan as Sara rolled her hips "Fuck baby don't stop."

He was sitting on the bed feet down while Sara was riding him. As soon as he came through the door they were all over each other. Justin had shown her why it wasn't a good idea for him to shave his facial hair. (She had teased him before about shaving, she might have to rethink that)

She moaned as Justin started to suck and bite at her nipples. Once he discovered it as her weakness there was no going back. "God I love your tits." He took them both in his hands and squished his face in between them. "Mine, no one else gets to see these." Sara rolled her eyes. She had mentioned to him that she had a couple roles she had to turn down because they wanted full frontal nudity. She was okay with bras and sex scenes, even the illusion she was nude but that was it. She didn't expect Justin to be so possessive. It was fucking hot to be honest.

"Oh god babe I'm gonna cum!" Sara moaned as she came, him throwing his head back as she felt him release in her. They both collapsed on the bed. Trying to catch their breaths. Sara looked over at Justin and smiled, him returning the expression. "Sooo tomorrow.." He trailed off as she began tracing his chest. "Some of the guys are coming over tomorrow for a victory Brisket. I have to order a bunch of groceries."

"We can go shopping tomorrow. I can make some cookies or something." She couldn't hide the excitement in her voice as she thought about meeting his teammates.

"Naw I think we should just get delivery, it will be easier and you know…." He didn't finish the sentence. She already knew where it was going. He didn't want to draw attention, she exhaled. "I know you're right." She got up to use the bathroom and she heard Justin get up and follow her. She decided to take a bath, she was surprised to see all the bath stuff he bought.

Sara lit some candles and started the water. Looking for the bubble solution, she dumped a hefty amount. As she was doing this she felt his eyes on her. "I'm sorry." He said

"For what?" She submerged herself, moaning as the warm water hit all the Sore muscles.

"One day I'll be comfortable with being on camera and photographed. It's just intimidating. The fame, I guess it's just people prying into my life I don't like."

She nodded "I understand, trust me it's a lot. Everyone knows almost everything about you but honestly it silences people. I used to be like that. Closed off, but I feel like it gives people ammo to talk crap, to fill the narrative with what they want. I'm not saying life has to be an open book, but people can make things up." He smiled. "I guess. Can I join you?"

"You don't have to ask." He slipped in and rested his head against her shoulder as she laid kisses on his neck. "Are you trying to go for round two?" She laughed. "I mean," her hand slipped down and began to trace his abs. "I wouldn't be opposed. But you gotta be careful. I don't need LA coming after me because I put you out for the season." He snorted. "Die by fucking you is a dream."

She laughed and continued rubbing his chest, avoiding the mid section. Justin sighed. "Please don't stop."

And she didn't, and they did go for round two."

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"Alright guys. Practice and media tomorrow. I think we all know the keys to beating the browns next week." Staley turned off the projector and the guys got up. They had a workout, followed by some video review of next week's opponent. It was noon, and Justin had told the guys that were coming over to be at his home around three. He and Sara had delivered a bunch of groceries and she was running around making sure they had enough food prepared. She had texted him pictures of the salads she made as well as drinks. It was a lot, but some guys would be able to take home leftovers as well. Sara had Italian roots, she told him as such there was no such thing as too much food.

Justin got home, showered and saw that Sara was dressed and ready. "Do you need my help with anything?" She shook her head no "you can start grilling whenever you want." He gave her a kiss and started seasoning the meat and got everything ready. Before they knew it it was 3 and some people started arriving. Once the fawning over who she was stopped everyone began relaxing.

Sara noticed Justin's demeanor was different. When he introduced her he just introduced her as 'Sara' no 'my girlfriend' or anything. She tried to not let it get to her. But he kept giving her one word answers and seemed to act like a friend would. She took a deep breath as she refilled her water. 'That's just how he is. ' she thought

'"Hi you must be Sara." A voice broke her from her thoughts. "Yes hi -"

In front of her was a very big, tall man. He looked like he could be straight out of Game of thrones. Joey Bosa. She smiled, “Why yes I am, you must be Bosa.” He raised his eyebrows. “Look at you using my last name, you must have been watching me a lot on the field.” He held out a cake. “I am not a baker, so I just stopped at a bakery, I am Italian, so we never go to anyone’s house empty handed.” She took it, it was a chocolate bundt from Nothing Bundt Cakes “Oh my favorite, also Bosa, I knew that was Italian. I am as well.”

“Really? Wozniak isn’t Italian.”

“My mom’s side is Italian, her maiden name is Ricci.” Joey let out an ahhh .

Truth be told Joey had been there for quite some time, he had come in through the backyard and greeted the guys. He had noticed Justin failed to mention that there was even a woman in the home, let alone his girlfriend. Mike had been filling him in all about this new relationship. Joey knew that his QB could be a douche when it came to girls. Justin was oblivious to Taylor wanting to be more than a hookup, Hannah from the Bachelor wanting to take their relationship public and he ended up dumping her. However, Sara Wozniak was not someone to play with. Call him fan crazed, but he always liked her movies, when he would catch interviews she seemed like a cool person. So far he was right, she was easy to talk to, and the fact that she went out of her way to throw together this shindig for hungry football players? Sara was a dream.

He was awestruck by her beauty, especially seeing her up close. Once he knew all the guys were outside, he made the excuse of putting the cake on the counter. Which led him here, paying more attention to the brunette beauty more than her own boyfriend.

Speaking of Herb he interrupted the conversation when he opened the sliding door to announce the food is ready. As everybody began to fill up their plates Joey noticed that Justin sat by the team at the dining room table and began discussing plays, leaving Sara to sit by herself at the island. Once he got his plate he put it next to Sara, she looked up and smiled at him and he smiled back. His heart skipped a beat.

He wasn’t the guy to move on his buddy’s girl, but if Justin couldn’t see what was in front of him, maybe she would start looking in a different direction, and he would be right in her line of sight.

A/N Hey guys, I apologize, I feel like this is a weak chapter on my end. I am just on a high after an amazing week 4. But Yes All I am going to say about Bosa is... It be your own sometimes *devil emoji*

Feel free to ask any questions, comment, show concern, my ask box is always open

#justin herbert #nfl imagine #justin herbert imagine #alexa writes collide #sara and justin canon

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jicklet · 2 years ago

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Rewatching The Hunger Games movie for the first time since I saw it in theaters! Let’s go.

Literally the only thing I remembered about this movie was that the beginning was a different style than the rest, but I forgot it was because of enough shaky cam to make me motion sick. I am so glad that did not continue through the whole thing.

The world starting to gain color after they left the district did give it a sort of “Dorothy stepping into Oz” feeling, I can dig that

It’s really making it clear just how much of the book takes place in Katniss’s head, now that we aren’t hearing her thoughts.

like I think JLaw is actually doing a decent Katniss, it’s just that Katniss is such an internal person who gives off awkward hostile energy inversely proportional to how many people are around, which doesn’t make for the best film protagonist

speaking of energy, intrigued by whatever strange vibe Haymitch and Effie got going on. like uhh are they fucking or what

I am sad at the lack of Madge, because her part of the story is a big chunk of the theme of generations, but I grudgingly recognize this is the sort of thing that gets lost in a film adaption

and I do like the pin being a tie back to Prim, and then an early piece of rebellion from Cinna with it being not officially approved but snuck onto her outfit.

Aha. Things really picked up on the no-katniss-narration-to-guide-things front when it got into the arena, and they’re able to explain what’s going on by cutting back and forth between the gamemakers room and Haymitch doing sponsor things. Both of which are honestly fun to see.

It’s done to varied success here, but I do love seeing filmmaking attempts to show messed up emotional/mind states, and they clearly had fun trying different ways of doing that during the bloodbath and the tracker jacker sequences

something about the relationship between Seneca Crane and Snow is darkly hilarious:

“Everyone likes an underdog! :D ” “I don’t.” “ :( ”

Already showing 11 rebelling in reaction to Rue’s death is...a choice.

But then if we’re going to be showing the world outside the arena, it does follow that there’s gotta be something to show just how transgressive what Katniss did was.

Okay most of the changes that are actually bothering me are coming in at the ending

I’m guessing they fixed Peeta’s leg so completely bc they didn’t know how to make the chase exciting if he’s limping along, but. eghhh

(Peeta at the end of the book is like, he’s coming out of this with a boatload of trauma and he even lost a leg to this but at least he’s got Katniss! oh wait she maybe didn’t love him after all. this feels so less weighty)

Aw man I am cranky about the generic mutts. The horror of the tribute-mutts was SO evocative and really drives home the point that all of them are the Capital’s to play with (Did they really use their eyes? probably not but you don’t doubt it’s possible)

Instead they gave the moment to Cato with his little hope lost speech as a shortcut, which. hnn...fiiiiine.

nitpick but Katniss saying ‘trust me’ as she gave Peeta the berries bothered me bc it inferred Katniss knew how it would work out, when the irony is she started this rebellion on complete accident

😢 ok the little detail of Peeta reaching out to touch Katniss’s braid as his (as far as he knows) last act undid me. PEETA. ;-;

Hnn skipping over all the post-game recovery really undercuts the horrors of it all.

Seneca Crane in the room with the nightlock is SO good though.

god ceaser’s teeth are so unsettling.

does. does peeta not get a crown lmao poor guy

goodness that was a really quick ending!

Hmmmm okay whereas the end of the book is like, “I went through all of this but now it’s over (with strong hints that it’s not going to be that simple)”, the end of the movie is like “we are not even out of the arena before we realize that actually you're still fucked.” Like it is really focused on setting up the sequel and they almost forgot to give this film an actual ending.

You can’t stomp on the horror of the hunger games and how nobody wins it, even the “victor(s)”, that’s the whole point! bah.

I’ll say, 3/5. Can understand why they made changes they did, even as it frustrates me that they’re undercutting the message. [throws up my hands and reminds myself “it’s a movie, it’s hollywood, what’re you gonna do”] Overall, I enjoyed it for what it was. i still have a headache from crying over Rue, goodnight.

#v watches #v watches the hunger games #hunger games #the hunger games #I remembered literally nothing about this movie it's bizarre #I may as well have not watched it but i know i did

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bridgertonbabe · 2 years ago

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For the Harry x Ginny reblog, I think part of it was the actors having practically grown up with each other & viewing each other as siblings. But the biggest factor was definitely the director who has always been open about the fact that he doesn't understand why Harry & Hermione didn't end up together. Which still baffles me today, because how could you let a director be in charge of four movies if said director doesn't understand the characters nor why the characters act the way they do? I'm not gonna go into a rant about this because I need to finish typing up the post about Princess Francesca & Princess Hyacinth but yeah, the movies f*cked up the trio's friendship already from the first movie & Yates f*cked up Harry & Ginny's relationship because he shipped Harry with Hermione & viewed Ron as purely comic relief

#JusticeForGinny #JusticeForRon #MyInner12YearOldIsReallyShowingRightNow

Honestly I assumed that since Daniel and Bonnie practically grew up together it would have been weird for them to do romantic scenes, and Emma and Rupert said the same thing when it came to filming their big kiss (and while we're on the subject I also wanted way more Ron and Hermione scenes than what we got), but you're totally right, if there had been better direction I'm sure they could have squeezed something decent out of them and given the audience something that at least resembled Harry and Ginny's relationship from the books. It's funny because it wasn't until you mentioned that Yates had preferred Harry and Hermione together that I remembered reading about it (I must have repressed it out of annoyance lol). I think it should be mandatory that any director adapting a book series to film or TV should have at the very least read the source material, have a complete understanding of its characters, and dedicate themselves to delivering the most faithful adaptation possible. It's only over the years that I've realised that the reason why I don't rewatch the last four films as often as the others is because of the direction it's taken especially with how the characters are portrayed. From OOTP onwards I felt like they had made Hermione a joint protagonist with Harry and oh, Ron's there too. I used to wonder if they wanted to take full advantage of Emma's talent and put her as front and centre as possible while Rupert wasn't as up to scratch as the others acting-wise, but having seen a number of Rupert's projects I realised there was no issue with his acting and that Ron's diminished role of comedic relief was all down to Yates' own preferences. I wonder what might have been had there been a different director/s at the helm for the last four films but alas, I guess we'll never know.

#asks #saga: might i offer you a small rant?#me: and may i offer you a rant in turn built off of the the rant you have just provided me with?#harry potter #my ramblings

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 4 years ago

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Have you ever gone into the full list of reasons why the show failed as bad as it did?

I’m not sure, but I can give it a shot.

Short answer: The show doesn’t have enough budget for a live-action sci fi epic that requires exotic animals and several wildly inhuman aliens. Its attempts to get around the budget constraints are often not ideal.

Long answer:

Far and away the biggest problem is the limited budget, but there’s a second almost-as-large problem with the showrunners not knowing how to work within a limited budget to create an action-adventure show.

As an example, AniTV episode “The Forgotten” (S1E13) adapts the Rachel-gets-amnesia plot line from Megamorphs 1. It has approximately similar beats – Rachel hits her head in bird morph, demorphs partway while still concussed, wanders around the woods for a while with no idea who or what she is, encounters an ex-host who mistakes her for a controller, and eventually gets found by her friends — but on a severely limited budget that precludes grizzly bears or sentient tornadoes.

However, the way that the show conveys the tension of Rachel being lost in the woods is to have her... run and then trip over a tree root. And then to play the footage of her falling on her butt in slow motion with dramatic percussion music. And then she gets up, runs some more, and trips over a different tree root. This doesn’t appear to be a way of conveying that she’s going in circles (although she is, judging by the way they keep filming the same stretch of woods from different angles) or that she’s dizzy from the concussion. It appears to be a way to try and get tension and excitement out of a character being lost in the woods.

Eventually Rachel stumbles on Fran (the ex-host who lives in the woods) and has a whole debate with Fran about whether either one of them is a controller. The scene has a decent degree of tension, as all they have to do to amp up the creepiness factor is have Fran wave around a yeerk in a jar and rant about a conspiracy that sounds crazy to Rachel but scary to the audiencey. This scene works. Draw this scene out.

Only pretty soon Rachel breaks out of Fran’s house and is back to... running through the woods and tripping over roots. Again.

After several other close encounters with inconveniently-placed tree parts, Rachel then stumbles onto a camp of helpful volunteers — yay, she’s saved! The dramatic irony immediately kicks back in when the audience realizes that the volunteers are from The Sharing., But Rachel herself has no idea that she shouldn’t let that nice man put that thermometer in her ear. Again, the scene works and it’s relatively low-budget — it requires six or seven extras, a handful of inexpensive props, and dramatic percussion music to let us know something bad is happening.

But wait, Jake and Marco are here! Crouching behind a tree, in clear view of every single one of the controllers, because we can see them in the same camera angle. Nonetheless, Jake and Marco save the day by... turning into dogs and barking, which causes all the controllers to leave, which means they can go get Rachel because the controllers just left her there.

So there are two interlinked problems, as I said: the limited budget, and the show runners’ inability to work within a limited budget.

The limited budget is part of the reason that Rachel has to spend so much time alone. They can’t afford to have a lot of extras or props, so they can’t afford to do a scene with her running onto the highway or one with her breaking into an abandoned house. Much less have her turn into an elephant and get hit by a truck. However, there are more interesting ways to get across that she’s lost and confused that don’t rely on — dun dun dun duuunn — tree roots! Have her repeatedly attempt to morph partway, only to get grossed out and stop. Have her attempt to converse with a real bird because she was herself a bird when she woke up. Let her figure out she’s walking in circles. There are possibilities.

Same principle applies to Rachel’s actual crash. She doesn’t get mobbed by jays in an eagle morph, because no way that’d fit into the budget; she just turns into a hawk identical to the one that plays Tobias and then... flies straight into a tree. The budget’s the reason there can’t be jays, but surely there was a better way to have her hurt than for her to just smash into a tree for no reason. (Maybe all those roots from the rest of the episode are the trees’ revenge?) Have her lose control of the morph because it’s new. Have her be in a rush because she needs to get to gymnastics camp. Have her get knocked off-course by sudden wind. Find a way to explain the scene better using voiceover, even if the footage itself is necessarily limited.

Fran is cool. Keep her on screen for longer, even if you can’t afford to burn her house down.

Same goes for the Sharing controllers. “Aliens mimic humans” is the oldest sci fi movie trick in the book, for a reason. All you have to do to convey that the human-controllers are scary enemies is to pay your actors to act like aliens. What do aliens act like? Whatever the hell you want, as long as it gets the point across. Heck, if you need to save money on extras, have Tom be the one who finds Rachel. It works in-universe: “I’m your cousin, so you can trust me!” It’d use a guest star who’s already trained in the part. It’d amp up the dramatic irony because the audience already knows he’s not trustworthy. Heck, let Christopher Ralph play a controller in a giant red wig and glasses while you’re at it — goodness knows he’s wasted on providing voiceover for hawk footage the whole time. But either way, let that scene play out for longer.

And for love of Toomin let Jake and Marco be better at hiding. Half the episodes of the show have scenes with these two crouched partway behind waist-high and/or foot-thick barriers with large parts of their body clearly visible, watching controllers who stand less than five feet away and somehow don’t notice them. I understand that you can’t have them morph most of the time, but work with what you’ve got a little better than that. It cannot cost all that much money to have a sequence where a controller looks over suddenly, only to have the camera angle show us that nothing of Jake’s and Marco’s position is visible from the controllers’ perspective. Instead we get footage of the controllers talking where Jake and Marco (always those two for some reason) are clearly visible onscreen, less than 10 feet away. Heck, you could also toss some plastic spiders on the ground and add a voiceover of Jake and Marco thought-speaking.

Anyway, that episode is a microcosm of the whole show.

Problem: the show can only afford to use domestic animals (cat, dog, lizard, rat) in most episodes. Workaround: have The Gardens simply not exist in this universe and necessitate the kids needing to work with limited DNA they can find at home. What actually happens: the show does a big reveal for Jake’s tiger and Rachel’s lion and Marco’s wolf... only to have those go unused in 95% of future battles, making the kids look careless and terrible at tactical planning.

Problem: the hawk can’t act. Workaround: have Tobias get his morphing power back a lot sooner in the show. What actually happens: Tobias just isn’t there most of the time in Season 1.

Problem: there’s no budget for battle sequences. Workaround: focus on the atmospheric horror instead. What actually happens: stock footage of a tiger gets intermixed with Richard Sali (who plays Chapman) doing his best to react to a nonexistant tiger, and all conflicts resolve themselves with the controllers running away the moment the kids start to morph.

So on and so forth. There are other issues with the show — including some seriously unfortunate decisions about ethics and some cringe-inducing gender roles — but “can’t work within the limits of our budget” is at the root of most of the biggest problems.

#animorphs #anitv #long post #animorphs meta #anitv meta #budget #television shows #when i say that i could do better with 10 friends and their pets #i could do better with 10 friends and their pets #even if i do have the unfair advantage of 2021 technology #rageofkyubii #asks

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booktomoviebrawl · 1 year ago

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We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.

Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising:

Painfully generic-dumbed-down-fantasy-action trying to channel better film franchises instead of the atmospheric, mythopoetic and lyrical children’s book it is technically based on. Bonus points for the open contempt people involved had for the source material, both in how they treated it and what they said about it.

BAD. Bad bad bad!! They completely changed Will's character. In the books he does get frustrated sometimes, but is mostly kind and patient and really makes you believe that he is both an ancient being and an 11 year old boy and in the movie they changed it so he's like really mad and angsty and just the total opposite of his actual character!! Absolute butchery. And they cut the Wild Hunt! And changed a bunch of other plot stuff and it overall just sucked.

where do I even begin. they made the main character American for no reason (this is perhaps the most egregious change), aged him up to 14, and added a straight romance subplot. they were so indecisive during production that they CUT AN ENTIRE MAIN CHARACTER in the time between the trailer and the actual film release. they completely fucked up all of Will’s family stuff. in pursuit of “relatability” they got rid of everything that makes the book good and put in THE most generic, poorly written, poorly acted (except Christopher Eccleston, who did okay), and poorly produced garbage. it was in theaters for like…less than a week; we were supposed to see it for my birthday but it was already gone. it doesn’t even have, like, half-decent special effects. it is an insult.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children:

While Miss Peregrine was one of my favorite books as a kid and incredibly unique in the way the story is written (The author basically took a box of weird antique photographs and created an underlying story behind a handful of them) the movie is incredibly boring. Like seriously I can't remember a single goddamn thing about the movie besides my extreme disappointment with it after leaving the theatres. It's probably because the original is a trilogy but they didn't want to make it a trilogy for the movie so they just scrapped the ending of the first book and rewrote a shitty climax where they threw snowballs at the nightmare child eating creatures or something. I remember THAT scene perfectly because it was so, so dumb. It was so stupid oh my God- ALSO, thank God I have a copy of the book from before the film came out because new copies don't have one of the photographs that the actual book uses as a base anymore and instead have the shitty movie poster! We truly do live in a society.

Changed way too much so it doesn't feel like the same thing. The main characters are these kids with different abilities (called peculiarities) and the movie switches around their powers and changes almost everyone's age. Emma and Olive switch powers so that Emma now floats (they also added that she can kind of control air to some extent) when she's supposed to have fire powers to match her fiery personality. Olive can make fire now and she's also aged up from an eight year old to a teenager and put her in this weird romance with Enoch. Enoch is also aged up from a grumpy thirteen year old to around the same age as Olive. Bronwyn, one of the older kids in the book and sort of a motherly figure to the younger kids, is now one of the youngest kids. Hugh and Fiona are aged down and basically have no interaction at all in the movie, even when their book counterparts had such a good relationship. The only one they didn't really change was Horace and Jacob. They also added these gorgon twins that do like two things. The antagonist in the movie is Mr. Barron who honestly isn't super memorable and isn't in the books whatsoever. The ending of the movie is weird too because they manage to turn back time somehow so Jacob's grandfather isn't dead and then he hops through loops so he can be with Emma and the other peculiars. I guess the problem of wights and hollowgasts is magically eliminated and we do not have to deal with the consequences. It took six books to fix everything. I appreciate that the movie engaged me enough to read the series but once I did, I could not believe they did my kids that dirty.

Yikes where to start. The 3 girl characters are all mixed up. There are 2 teens, one who's super strong and has a brother (I'll get back to him) and one who controls fire and is the love interest named Emma. The third girl is a child called Olive who floats. She's lighter than air.

In the movie, strong girl is the child, olive is now the fire girl and is for some reason super introverted, and Emma the love interest floats and gets given a super breath??? Power?? Like she rises a sunken ship by blowing in and keeps a man blown against a wall by blowing air at him. He makes a remark that she'll run out of breath eventually, which happens here because plot convenience, but not when she's blowing in the sunken ship.

The enemies in the book are terrifying Hollows. Creatures who have lost themselves and devour souls of those with powers... The movie decides they eat eyes now. And turn human again. And get busted up in a fair for the final act of the movie. Ugh.

The movie also decides randomly that time travelling through the loops is a thing; a loop being a pocket of time that replays the same day over and over. But apparently this means Main Character can travel back in time and stop his grandfather dying??? What?? His grandfathers death is the whole start of the movie and motivation for the character.

The movie undermines many of things that made the book amazing and even decides it's not a trilogy anymore!! Fuck the other 2 books, right?!

Tldr; it is terribly hollywood-ised and t tim Burton ruined a franchise by trying too hard to make it quirky and fun when the books already had a brilliant sombre and interesting tone to them.

#tournament poll #the dark is rising #the seeker #miss peregrines home for peculiar children

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absolutebl · 3 years ago

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BAD BUDDY - Ep by Ep Snarkfest

Not sure if this will be a trash watch or not, but are you ready for this?

But first... I thought it might be fun to see what my predictions were back in 2020 when GMMTV first announced this show.

I should acknowledge that I publicly stated, many times, that I thought Nanon would NEVER do a BL. So this is me eating crow:

DEETS!

Origin: Book (Behind the Scenes) adaptation of a enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, Romeo & Romeo, secret relationship, university sports setting y-novel

MDL Listing | Trailer

Wait I’ve seen them do BL before? Seriously? Fine. Nanon Korapat in My Dear Loser+ like everything GMMTV not BL. Ohm Pawat in He’s Coming to Me, Make it Right 1&2, Dew the Movie, The Shipper + like EVERYTHING BL.

Side dishes: Drake (My Tee, 2gether, 1000 Stars) and Marc (My Gear and Your Gown)

My 2020 Predictions: It’s from GMMTV with BL director Backaof attached (1000 Stars, He’s Coming to Me, Dark Blue Kiss, Still 2gether), so it’s gonna happen. Both actors and director have a history of picking quality projects with decent scripts, and production values are likely high. Should be excellent but low heat. Ohm will have his shirt off a lot.

Shall we begin?

Episode 1 - Oh well, fuck me, it’s actually great

They had me the moment Pran took his earbuds out and put them carefully into a case before going into battle. This show is fantastic.

Officially, as of this moment October 29, 2021, I’m declaring there to be too many gay engineering students in BL for me to keep track of anymore. Bad Buddy has defeated me. It is the gear the broke the smock-covered back.

Pat’s little sister is my spirit animal I LOVE HER. I’m sorry tho, I can’t call her Pa, so I’m changing the spelling to Pah henceforth. (It’s Thai to English, all spelling is merely a figment of your deranged imagination anyway.)

The pace was great, this was a FAST moving opening episode. Ironically, that means I’m now concerned about pacing - a lot happened already, how are they going to daw this out into 12 eps unless it’s super slow burn? Then again, this is based on a Y-novel, so should be better than normal Thai BL (although the horrible looming shadow of My Gear and Your Gown is RIGHT THERE) so trust is thin on the ground.

All that said, we are off to a GREAT start and so far I’m loving this show. (I would have bet good money Ohm would be topless first, tho.) Also, yes we all GOT the Romeo & Juliet bits GMMTV, thank you for clipping us upside the head with those. Is Drake actually playing Tybalt? In which case, who’s Mercutio? (Randomly: does the kid playing Wai look like Heeseung from Enhypen to anyone else, or is it just me?)

How cute was that bit where they subverted the wound tending trope though? Pran was like “You must be joking.” I got quite a chuckle out of it.

Little to no seme uke with these boys, which is good, suits the actors’ dynamic.

Looks like GMMTV is gonna both start (1k*) and end 2021 on a high note. Fingers crossed. Honestly it just so nice to have them back in the game.

Episode 2 - Damnit, It Continues to be Good

The first quarter of this ep, with them trying to keep their friendship groups apart is so flipping funny. And then I remembered, the best of 2gether was when it did stuff like this. (That drunk scene with Fong flipping his shoe, Gunsmile in the dolly, and Tine driving air still makes me laugh). GMMTV’s stable excels at this stuff, it’s how School Rangers kept going all these years. And Ohm and Nanon are two of the best. It makes me feel like I am in safe hands when they do a montage run like this.

Also, seriously, the amount for flirting these two do over text is off the chart. And should we talk about the epic eye fucking? Eh, probably not, it speaks for itself. Or doesn’t speak per say... just eye fucks.

Epic Eye Fucking is the name of my punk band.

Amused to see the combined the mistaken identity game with the rooftop trope. Oh and post-it love note, haven’t seen that trope in a long while.

I hate hate hate the scene with Heeseung - sorry, Wai - at work at the bar. Which means i really hate Pat’s friends now too. In fact I hate all their friends, this is a blanket statement - GMMTV rectify thyself. I want to love friendship groups in BL, not hate them. V annoying. I hope they all get booted from school for egregious shed collapsing.

FOLK my love! I have missed you.

NO SINGING. Thailand, we have talked about this at length!

So they were separated eternally for being in a band together?

I get it. They were singing in a BL. I’d have done it too.

Meanwhile tickle is apparently a good word in every language. Although in Thai strawberry will forever be my favorite.

BL = closing elevators on the good stuff since Cherry Magic.

Episode 3 - Is this the one true scion of SOTUS?

I’m getting a serious “inheritor of our SOTUS forefathers” feel from this show (NOT a bad thing) but I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not the narrative, maybe it’s more an aura of confidence that’s the result of a combo of capable acting & solid production? Maybe you lot can help me figure this out?

How smooth was the guitar pick student ID flirting action? Also a never before seen love offering. Adorbs. And then Pat paying for both their noodle bowls later.

Boy is GOOD.

Also, word’s second most handsome pick. First one? Here:

I love Pat & Pran’s dynamic, it’s this perfect combative competitive flirtation. Reminds me a bit of PeteKao at the beginning of Kiss, although with less of an edge to it.

Also reminds me of grade school. Honestly, when is Pat just gonna pull on Pran’s pigtails and dip them in ink? Break a slate over his head?*

* (10 points to anyone who gets that reference.)

This is a damn good script.

It lets Pat, in particular, push right up to the edge of confession and then backtrack or turn it into a joke constantly (maybe intentionally, may unconsciously). This has the effect of jerking Pran around, but not maliciously. It means, i think, if they ever are going to actually get anywhere as a couple it’s gonna have to be Pran who really makes the first move, since he’s the only one who has the overt capacity for sincerity.

It’s very clever. Makes me wonder if the original y-novel was this well done or if this is part of Ohm and Nanon’s dynamic coloring their characters.

Question for y’all.

Is “fighting with chopsticks” the new euphemism for “dueling with swords”?

Asking for a friend.

Oh and here’s a reminder, because I keep needing it with Pran’s friends.

Apparently Episode 3 feels compelled to do a major TROPE DUMP.

The appearance of the meet me in the library trope made me especially happy. Romance in libraries is a favorite setting. Also them pressed together in the elevator thing is fun, doesn’t pop up often in BL these days (Cherry Magic excepted). Plus some more predictable BL tropes:

side eye,

look of love,

stare from a close distance,

black & white striped shirt,

lie on ground,

central aperture framing,

head pat,

and so forth.

On a serious note, the way Pat & Pran’s friends are driving them right back into the corners that their families did as children is really fucking sad. But it sure makes for excellent external tension.

Looking forward to another week of all I care about is Friday, and not for the normal reasons.

Episode 4 - annoying friends remain annoying

Look they’re starting to really bother me in an imma fast forward kinda way, they’re no longer adding to the story. Although it is fun to see them tricked into working. But I like to see anyone tricked into working. Leave me alone with a child and I’ll have them conducting regression analysis in about half an hour. (That is NOT a euphemism.)

Pat wandering into Pran’s room and then just grabbing a book and setting up residence made me think that these two are also a puppy/cat pairing.

I like the not-a-faen-fatale but more a friend from their past who knows who they are to each other. Cute twist on a tired archetype. Also I am fining myself basically delighted whenever Pat’s sister shows up. Why are sister characters such fun in BL?

Yes but also... tiny impossible but very cute girl ship has set sail!

Okay but how many times is Pat gonna call Pran cute or his boyfriend in this one episode? I mean boy actually couldn’t flirt any harder. And then to pretend he likes a girl. Tut to the tut tut.

Pacing on this one continues to be excellent I’m still excited for where the next one is going. So far, this show is a win.

Meanwhile someone asked me to go into why Nanon’s acting is so amazing, so I donned my professional-esk hat and had a stab at it here.

I’d like to see them start redeeming the friendship groups at this point. Pat’s should try helping him win the girl and Pran’s shoudl recognize his misery and try to cheer him up. They can remain at odds with each other, but we (the audience) really need to like them more now.

See you next week! Same Pat time, same Pat place.

Episode 5 - they boyfriends

These two are basically boyfriends already. I can’t take the morning routine cuteness: pet names, ordering each other around the kitchen, stealing food.

Thus the terrible date with The Girl (TM) was appropriately terrible and meanwhile...

So Pat finally figures out his feels, isn’t jelly of a girl (is jelly of a boy). I kinda like that the jelly is being used to determine identity rather than just as a dumb plot device.

This is a clever little romance.

Thank goodness we only had to listen to one song tho.

Meanwhile Pat is like, oh shit did we actually fall in love in high school and I never realized it? I love this kind of trope. Himbo alert! Big dumb bi boy utterly out of touch with his feelings is just too delicious. Also Ohm got to be subtle for a change, showing this whole remembering of old heartbreak just with nuances of facial expressions at the music concert.

Question: At the Wai Pat confrontation scene, how did Pat end up on the ground? Did he just decide to fall down in the middle of a fight? I’m confused.

Finally... GREAT FUCKING KISS.

Look I was gonna give kiss of the year to SamYu (and I still will because, frankly, Taiwan is just better about this stuff) but this one was REALLY good. Much more than I expected of GMMTV, although not from Ohm.

We all knew he could kiss like a dream from Make it Right, and he was fricking 16 in that series. Apparently some things DO improve with age.

Anygay, VERY nice boys. Thank you.

And then Pat’s face. That tiny lost smile: absolute joy and then crushing disappointment in knowing reality won’t let them be together - almost in the same breath. Beautifully done.

(A DM ask about this kiss has made me natter more so here it is...)

THAT KISS

I don't analyze the experience of BL as a watcher all that much (more just type out my snarky reactions) but I was asked, so here’s more about Ohm and the kiss.

I think that smile was a bit of everything: euphoria at having his feelings returned but also the hopelessness of their situation and also a brave front and also first love nerves. It was very complex. Ohm knocked it out of the park this ep but I've seen Dew so I had absolutely no doubt he could do it.

I love that the director and story had Nanon carry the weight of the emotional burden for most of the first half of the show and now suddenly Ohm has picked it up. It's very cleverly done and could only happen with two extremely good actors.

I do think we are in for a very bumpy ride going forward as a result though. Both of their reactions to the kiss are foreshadows.

How will they cope with the pressure of friends and family and secrecy if/when they are in a relationship?

Will they smile or wince or both, like Pat?

Will the joy of first love be enough to keep them on the metaphorical rooftop together?

Or will one of them run, as Pran did?

If production is smart with the talent (and clearly they ARE), we'll get flip flopping of who carries the emotional burden of the narrative for the next 5 eps or so until The Dreaded Episode 11 (TM).

Pacing is different in this BL though (this kiss came early) so DOOM might descend at ep 9/10 or even sooner. It’s hard to predict, this one. Yet another reason just to sit back and enjoy the ride.

EXTRAS

Pat & Pran’s language with each other: pronouns, honorifics, and endearment/insult teasing.

More about the kiss and the dialogue on the rooftop and queer identity.

Moving on from The Kiss That Broke The Internet.

Episode 6 - Show Me the Seme

I was thinking Bad Buddy was pretty much was not going to have a seme/uke dynamic (Thailand’s skipped it before), but in this episode we got us a classic seme active pursuit vrs tsundere uke resistance - so I guess for now, we back to normalcy.

Director Aof pretty much dropped in half the tropes of the Thai BL arsenal into this one episode, so my heart is full, but I think that was mostly to keep the pacing on point since this ep didn’t advance the story much:

touch my lips and think of kissing,

beach frolic,

close stare,

crash into me,

drag baby around,

boys contemplating water.

The parents are whack immure arses but hay, Love Sick started that nonsense - it’s a grand Thai tradition.

I kinda love Pat showing up on the bus. I literally said, “You little shit” while I was watching. Also, how much do I love Ohm’s “I’m a self satisfied little shit” face? SO MUCH.

The dealing with sulky boyfriend at the marketplace was adorable, because of course Pran likes the bits of Pat that are most unlike himself, like the sunshine teasing. And Pat is just learning how to activate that to get his boy into a better mood.

We ended with the best confession that isn’t a confession meets flirting but make it ridiculous scene in BL. It was great. Pran basically said,

“Boy, you wanna piece of this, you gotta court me proper.”

It was adorbs. Also, his smile when Pat calls him his boyfriend in the stinger = fantastic!

Finger licking good, one might even say.

I am anticipating these two giving us one of the best and most dramatic public claiming sequences ever.

Don’t disappoint me, Bad Buddy.

Next week.... secret boyfriends trope launches at last.

Episode 7 - Oh They Trope-Verse Seme-Switches!

Okay I figured it out with this episode, Pat & Pran are classic example of no seme/uke, they’re also classic trope switches. I’m glad that’s settled in my brain now.

I’ll talk about how I came to this conclusion in a moment, but FIRST... we need to talk about these two:

I’m not sure GMMTV has the guts to give us a full on GL sub plot, but they are absolutely setting one up. But then they throw Wai with a crush on Pah into the mix, so ???

This will get v messy for Pran & Pat no matter which direction Pah goes with her choices. Which is very clever of the writers. I love it. I am ALWAYS in favor of clever writers. And you know I like messy. So I’m looking forward to wherever this sub-plot goes, GL payout or no. (Although I recognize there are gonna be some seriously disappointed tumblr rants if there is no actual GL.)

Pran unleashing his pent-up flirt is a thing of beauty. Also the not-dating dating musical montage was adorable.

Okay, so, secret boyfriends gave us all the tropes in this one, interestingly if you assume Pat is the seme from the last ep, these all largely subverted that dynamic.

your relationship with that water bottle (standard seme execution, but I think they just wanted Ohm’s shirt off)

wound tending (subverted)

caged wall lean (subverted)

the library assignation

sponge bath (turned into product placement, very clever GMMTV)

baby is a messy eater (subverted)

(Here’s the post where I talk about how certain tropes in BL basically “belong” to either the seme or the uke and that we should pay very close attention when the dynamic is flipped because the narrative is very much trying to tell us something about the motivation and complexities of the characters. A pair that does this while maintaining seme/uke but using it to show us how very soft that dynamic can be are SolorGui in Oxygen.)

And then Bad Buddy used the cheek kiss, boyfriend peck kisses, and makeup removal trope to show Pat & Pran both pretty much doing this to each other at the same time. That’s basically screaming out that these two are narratively verse.

So yeah, I’m calling it for no seme/uke in this BL. In fact this episode could be a master class in how to use BL trope expectations to counteract seme/uke standards. It was basically Thai BL undermining Japanese live action yaoi. It’s kind of like:

Look at how far we have come! These boys will use your tropes for a verse agenda, thank you very much!

Which I of course flipping loved. (You see what I did there - FLIPping?)

You know what else I loved best in the world? This line:

You know why?

Because it reminded me so entirely of Seryo in Seven Days:

You know I love anything that reminds me of Seven Days.

Yet again Bad Buddy kept the tension up with no slump in engagement despite this being (on paper) a pretty basic filler episode 7, thin on narrative. I must applaud them. I’m looking forward to more secret boyfriends next week. But I do think someone is gonna find them out. The question is... who?

In other news: the mom character, instead of gay for you, she’s homophobic for you. Thank you thank you. Trope abuse is my forte.

Episode 8 - Shirtless Secrets

Finally the episode where Ohm spends most of it shirtless. The gay gods applaud you, GMMTV.

So right, the breakfast in bed was so adorable. These two are the biggest flirty teases ever, Pat & Pran are both such good secret lovers.

The fucking holding hands thing is going to wreck tumblr for days. Are you happy? I hope you’re happy. GMMTV what have you done to us.

Odds on a shot of Pat miserable and cuddling this T-shirt after the inevitable break up? Come on, you know they wanna do that to us.

I love the character trait of Pat being obsessed with the way Pran smells, speaking as someone whose partners have historically been dictated almost entirely by smell.

Meanwhile the lesbians got the wound tending and the shrimp peeling trope - a rare but very important one, IMHO. (Thank you AePete. Incidentally the Thai polite style of peeling shrimp, with a fork and spoon, actually works REALLY well. I taught myself how to do it and am now a bit of a fan.)

I actually don’t have a trope board for this one since it’s pretty rare.

And we ended on tension.

Did I say already that this show is written like, and reminds me a bit of, fan fiction? The way it’s paced, very nice.

Episode 9 - Wooing a Friendship Group (or 2)

I thought this episode would have a lot more doom, I was pleasantly surprised by how soft it was. A ton of cute tropes were casually dropped: hair dry, face cradle, significant hand hold, the lying loom, boys in black & white stripes. Still, Pran’s friends, especially Wai = the biggest arses. I wasn’t sure they could redeem Wai’s character (and I’m still not sure they did although they gave it their best shot).

Look, I’m only gonna say this once.

If you make it hard for someone to come out, you don’t get to blame them for hiding themselves.

Doesn’t matter what form that coming out takes (secret relationship or queerness). There are countless ways to demonstrate trust-worthiness and allyship, especially around your friends. The onus is on us to be the safe person, not them.

Nanon playing crestfallen is ADORABLE though.

Did you hear Korn use “nong” in this scene to mock flirt? It’s very very funny if you understand the implications of the term “nong” under the context of Korn & Pat’s friendship (equals and age mates) and Pat pretending to be jealous of Wai in order to cope with how much Wai is hurting his boyfriend. Korn is doing it to cheer him up. It was sweet and hillarious.

Who knew Korn would turn into the biggest PatPran shipper?

Meanwhile Pat chucked his crown into the ring for Bi King (gonna take a lot to dethrone Neo, Leon & Na, though.)

Pat = Pransexual

(Shut up, I am beyond chuffed with myself.)

This is, in part, GMMTV making an obvious effort to correct for some of the great sins of SOTUS in particular and the BL genre in general (gay for you, wifey terminology, punching down humor, and poor GL rep). Marvelous that they are using their flagship show and its massive platform to do so. We of the Queer Normalization Brigade salute you. (Our uniforms are FABULOUS.)

The GL ship got pushed a little out of port.

Do I think there might still be some issues with the GL supply chain? Why yes, yes I do, but it’s still very nice to see an attempt made at delivery. (See what I did there?)

Anygay, we got the friendship groups to come around and now... the parents! How much you wanna bet this drive the break up? Also I really hope the boys uncover a really good reason for the breach between the families, it’d be a lot better if they gave us a solid external stressor.

I got faith though.

Episode 10 - Wai’s Lesbian Redemption

Honestly this ep started with the public claiming sequence to end all public claiming sequences. This may win this trope category for all time.

I really appreciate the continued efforts to keep this drama light - much lighter, in fact, then it has any right to be. I think I have laughed out loud in pretty much every single episode.

Similarly I appreciate the ridiculous care and thought they are putting into crafty product placement. It’s almost like they are making fun of the way this was handled in 2gether. I wonder if it will spawn more of this kind of mockery in other Thai BLs going forward?

There is a literary technique called light housing, which is when writers take a flaw or inconsistency in a text/narrative/plot, and instead of trying to burry it, they highlight it and call attention to it, sometimes with 4th wall breaking, sometimes by ostentatiously turning it into a plot device or pivot point. The way Bad Buddy treats product placement feels like that. There’s this attitude of “well if we must include it, instead of trying to hide it let’s make it a party. It becomes less clumsy and shoehorned in (like in Kdramas or other Thai BL) and more an extra playful perk, like a cheerful garish bauble.

It suits the Thai style to approach product placement this way.

Could we talk about the Wai giving up on Pah sequence?

Good, ‘cause we’re gonna.

Far be it for me to turn the lesbian arc into a chat about the straight dude in the mix, but that’s what is about to happen. (Probubly my most anti Bechtel moment, ever.)

First of all, Pat’s attitude is aces, let’s just put that out there. For an older brother to say about his younger sister (in Thai culture), “I’m gonna let her make her own romantic decisions” Is fantastic. And maybe wouldn’t have happened if Pat hadn’t been through his own conflict over romance and identity.

But we gotta talk about Wai.

This was actually one of the best redemption arcs possible for Wai’s character and one of the most queer moments we’ve gotten in what has been, so far, one of the queerest Thai BLs I’ve ever seen.

There is along and very storied history of straight dudes (patriarchies, whole cultures) not believing in lesbian relationships because “real love” and “real sex” must involve a penis. Gay sex and relationships have historically been treated as taboo, disgusting, or sickening - but valid. Lesbian relationships and sex on the other hand, have mostly been treated as laughably impossible or inconceivable.

In the past, this lead to things like Boston marriages, where women spent lifetimes together as partners and were tacitly permitted to do so simply because "romantic love and sexual interest between two women is simply not possible.”

(When I harp on about queer being a feminist issue, this is one of those aspects.)

So the way Wai just instantly notices and believes that Pah has a crush on Ink and that this crush is not only valid but OUTRANKS his own is INSANE. Like never before seen on screen.

He accepts that it is Pah’s right to like whomever she wants, and if the one she likes is a woman, that’s not important because it’s just as valid of a choice.

I can’t tell you how important this kind of scene is in film. And how much it redeems his character.

This is a HUGE queer statement being made by this narrative. It’s unprecedented. And it’s specifically one of lesbian support.

Also it goes up against BL notions of the prioritization of a crush over mutual affection. Wai backing down is a way of saying not only is queer love as valid as het love, but that a crush is less important than the return of feelings.

Meanwhile, Ink’s stink eye is the best.

Ink asking for permission is even better. Gotta love consent. Not to mention cheek & forehead kisses.

Also the return of dark room romance!

Anyone else getting PickRome vibes?

Back to the main story:

Of course it all turns out to be the sins of the father. What did we expect?

Although, honestly, it’s a bit rich (pun intended) for someone in such a fancy-pants outfit to be complaining about having her life ruined. Things seemed to have, frankly and fashionably speaking, turned out okay for Pran’s maa.

Next week is ep 11, but who the f knows with this show? It seems to be specializing in non-standard BL behavior patterns.

Episode 11 - Doom Light

A sort of achey wistful episode 11, because we know, right along with the characters, that Pat & Pran’s attempt to escape the family strife is, in fact, doomed.

This whole honeymoon sequence (including the shoehorned allegory about Junior not wanting to go back with his mom + Uncle wasting his life on ideology) is just another one of those coming of age moments. Running away and still staying part of the world isn’t really possible, even if you don’t like the world or can’t fit into it (the world doesn’t like you).

For me the saddest part was at the end when Pat & Pran stand in front of their respective homes crying, because the idea of going home should feel good, and safe, when for both of them it’s the opposite. That is such a queer experience - it was like a gut punch.

And suddenly this show is reminding me of I Told Sunset About You.

I’m now going to speculate on the time jump final ep.

If they really are going to go there, that is a VERY Kdrama tactic. Under the auspices of the tropes of those dramas (and not BL) the following can happen:

the ending is left up in the air but slightly implies that they get back together (see Something in the Rain)

they get back together in the last 10 min of the last ep, in what feels like a super rushed job (see most het romance Kdramas)

we return to the Japanese roots (of both BL & Kdramas) and Bad Buddy doesn’t end with an HEA, but instead with them still apart and a sentimental romanization of lost love

In this last tactic, the romantic glory is vested in the unchanging nature of the memory of having once experienced the true passion of youth. The two characters often reminisce about their past over drinks together. I have been known, at my most acerbic to call this “Arthouse Smackdoodle.”

Now, I am open to being surprised.

In fact, please surprise me.

Because I don’t like any of these 3 options. In my personal opinion, Kdramas are unquestionably weak around endings.

On the other hand, with the increasing quality of the BL and companion talent, production values, and performances we must acknowledge the silly frivolous fluff is going to lose against the compulsion to be taken seriously. Especially in a narrative like this one, that doesn’t have a compelling story, just compelling acting and directing.

So I’m not sure if I should be legitimately scared by the Episode 12 teaser. Or if I’m being expertly manipulated to be scared. Or if I am betraying trust in Bad Buddy by being scared, even though it clearly wants me to be.

ARGH.

Honestly, this whole series journey has been a bit much for me. I’m happy Bad Buddy is ending next week not because I didn’t like it, but because I like it too much.

I need less stress and more poor quality Thai pulp bullshit BL in my life.

I know, I know. Be careful what you wish for. Paint With Love is still airing.

Episode 12 - Glory Be, They Stuck the Landing!

In which Tumblr collectively decides if BB can’t stick the landing, we riot. We did not get off to an optimistic start. I hate hate HATE the Kdrama time jump in the final episodes trope. If you’re gonna do a reunion romance you should do it from the start. I don’t like it when he has to go away and find himself by writing a novel, or solving a mathematical proof, or any of that rot.

It’s the equivalent of saying to the audience that the characters found something more important then their love for each other, yet we just watched a whole fuck-off drama about how important their love for each other was. You can’t do us dirty like that.

Oh look! I’m FINALLY ranting about this show and I am less than 2 minutes into the final episode. Only it’s not really this show at all. Squirrel!

Fortunately, as they have been doing all along, Bad Buddy subverted this trope too.

Take THAT Kdramas!

Pran apparently landed in Singapore. (Don’t make them speak English, please.)

Singapore is one of my favorite places on earth. That view out Pran’s window is of the Marina Bay Sands hotel, I've stayed there! Here's what the Singapore Strait looks like from the roof at sunrise (it’s my phone backdrop).

This has been your moment of glob trotter reverence.

I return you to your regularly scheduled waffling.

I actually liked the bit of Pat getting together with old friends. It reminded me of exactly that kind of thing in my own post-uni days, and the three on screen together are good. Made me wish I'd gotten more of that friendship dynamic all along. Jimmy really is a great addition to the GMMTV stable. I'm looking forward to his BL this year. (Did you know he's a doctor as well? Apparently.)

The reunion

Did I tear up at the longing glances across the room? Of course I did. I am, after all, a sap. Plus both actors are so good at emoting. However, the high school reminiscing at the reunion was too drawn out for me.

That said, I was happy to have been tricked for the first half of the episode.

They did long distance and stayed secret lovers the whole time. Nicely twisted but a bit too much audience manipulation. It’s going to fail on rewatch potential. Better than the other options, tho.

And then... the hanging photos trope. Been a while, a rarely used one but fun to see. Reminded me of Dark Blue Kiss and PeteKao’s secret anniversary - a sweet call back from GMMTV to one of their other “keeping it in the closet” romances. (Great, now I want do a DMK rewatch.)

T-shirt memory sniff... called that one.

Also that’s a v cute subversion of the punishment trope, Pran.

The horsing around and wrestling ending was pitch perfect for this couple and this drama but also pleasingly unusual for a romance story.

Bad Buddy really tread the line between BL and queer romance and I kinda adore them for that.

This is a special little drama, and how lucky to get to start the year this way.

The bar has been raised, Thailand.

In the end, I loved Bad Buddy.

The family struggles and friendship group made it a little bit difficult for me to take at times so I am not certain how much I’ll end up rewatching this one. We shall see.

However, the acting was really excellent and the ending was unexpectedly satisfying if not typical romancey. For now, I am giving Bad Buddy a solid 9/10 - 9.5/10 if I did that because of all the queer affirmation and effort put in to specifically subvert damaging Thai BL tropes.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

(source)

#gmmtv #bad buddy #bad buddy the series #thai bl #Nanon Korapat #Ohm Pawat #episode racap #episode recaps #patpran #pranpat #bl tropes #this week in bl #bad buddy analysis #pickrome #inkpa

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